I'm really excited to talk about this method. I really like it as far as Cry It Out (CIO) methods go, especially for young babies. Well, The Baby Sleep Solution doesn't really call it a CIO method but I would, just one that is a bit gentler than most.
Author Giordano of The Baby Sleep Solution uses this method because...
Author Giordano of The Baby Sleep Solution uses this method because...
- It is a "realistic middle ground between the 'cry it out' method, which many parents cannot stomach, and the 'no cry method', which is unrealistic for many babies" (i.e. older ones who often protest regardless of the method) (p 8). She says that it may take longer than some other CIO methods due to the frequent checks on baby, but that she gets 100% success with this and that it is emotionally a lot easier for many parents and children than other CIO methods.
- She "doesn't believe there is a lot of learning going on after five minutes of steady, continuous crying." (p 20).
How to do implement the Limited Crying Solution
Although Giordano uses this method with her other sleep and feeding techniques, you don't need to. You can keep your sleep groundwork the same but use this method instead of other CIO or No- CIO methods. You can start using this once your baby meets her weight/age/food requirements (I'll get to that in the next week). She suggests it until 18 months of age. Her mantra with this is "I cannot fix it for you, but I will go through it with you by your side." A common tip she gives during this approach is "you are coaching your child to self-soothe at night so you should not do too much for him in this step. He is ready to soothe himself if you let him" (p 107).
- Do your pre-sleep routine and put baby in his crib awake. Say good night, love you etc then leave the room shutting the door behind you.
- If baby doesn't cry-- Woohoo! All done! But likely you'll need to move on to the next step.
- Baby starts to cry. Start the clock once he is crying continuously and is doing more than just a little whine. Stop the clock when he stops crying, even if it is just for a little bit. Restart the clock all over again when the crying starts again.
- Check on your baby after 3-5 minutes of continuous crying (5 minutes is the max time regardless of age). Go in sooner if you feel you need to (i.e. baby's cries are extremely escalated).
- During this check you will intervene and reassure your baby. Offer a pacifier, offer a soft touch, offer a lovey, sing, shush-pat, change baby's position, etc. If you speak, keep it at a whisper and avoid having a conversation with baby. Avoid eye contact or any sort of playing with baby.
- Once baby is calm, leave the room. Do not return for another 3-5 minutes following constant crying. Repeat as necessary.
- Leave baby in his bed until the approximate set morning wake time (This is for when baby is sleeping around 12 hours at night, you'll need to adjust for your child's habits and abilities) treating any awakening before this time like you did the previous ones. Baby does not get out of bed in the morning until he is happy.
If you've had experience with this method, please share!
Aerogirl @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
ReplyDeleteCan you pick up the baby? Because once my daughter starts crying, it takes A LOT of work to make her stop crying. We can't find anything we can do to make her stop while leaving her in her bassinet.... We have to pick her up, and probably even rock her to make her stop crying.
RachelStella @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
DeleteAerogirl,
You are really aiming to have baby stay in her crib.
One thing to keep in mind is that you are trying to teach baby methods to soothe her while in the crib. So she may not be able to do it now, but by trying various methods overtime she will learn to be calmed by them with your help and eventually without your help. You are trying to assist baby in the soothing process not offer all the soothing yourself so you don't want to do too much.
That said, some kids seen to do better if you take them out of their beds for a short while then put them back in and continue your calming. Doing this may or may not make things worse for you two. You'll have to try it to see. If you think about it, if you take baby out to calm her, you are having her learn to calm out of the crib in your arms (you are pretty much all the soothing rather than having her learn to soothe herself and you are offering it in the wrong place for this method) which will possibly make her calming in the crib once you leave a whole lot harder than it would be otherwise. If you take her out, I'd try to do it for a very short time and put her back in her crib once she is less upset but possibly not quite calm. I think this would work eventually, it just may take a bit longer than not doing it and it also, if done too much, can be too overstimulating (which is a top reason the baby whisperer doesn't suggest her pu/pd method at a young age).
bettyl @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
ReplyDeleteSometimes, the child's got other things on his/her mind but it's good to know there is a happy medium.
Erin @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
ReplyDeleteWe've been trying this method for the last couple weeks... I keep wondering though... we put my 4-month-old son down to sleep, and he'll make sounds and move around in his bed (without crying) for up to an hour! It seems to be going longer and longer. We aren't going to settle him because he isn't crying, but should we step in at some point, lest he stay awake for too long at night and end up sleeping away the daytime hours?
Erin @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
DeleteAddendum to above... this is also becoming a problem for his naps and for his single nighttime feeding around 5am. Sometimes I fall asleep listening to him move/babble after the 5am feeding, and I have no idea if he falls asleep at all between then and when I wake up to louder sounds at 7am. If it were happening just at bedtime or just at naps, I would wonder if we needed a new bedtime or fewer naps, or something... but since it's happening at once at all time's he's going to bed, I'm at a loss
RachelStella @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
DeleteErin,
A general rule I have is to not give baby more attention during sleep times than he needs to sleep. So if he is happy, I try to leave him alone. I may go in and give a quick, "time to go to sleep" along with a pat, but I try to keep it to just one time. You will have to see how your child responds to something like this. My guess is that he is just going through a phase where he is interesting with his surrounding and newfound understanding with the world and wants to play around a bit. You can try adjusting waketime and bedtime a bit to see if it helps (keep a sleep log while doing this) but don't be surprised if it makes no difference right now. I know, frustrating, but most of us parents have had a child that has done this at one time or another. Also make sure to look over the sleep environment posts and short nap/night time waking posts for anything that sticks out to you.
Katie Moore @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
ReplyDeleteHi,
My name is Katie Moore, I just had a quick questions in regards to your site. If you could get back to me at your earliest convenience I would greatly appreciate it!
Thanks,
Katie
RachelStella @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
DeleteKatie, you can reach me at rachel@mybabysleepguidedotcom
Thanks,
Rachel
Ivanna @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
ReplyDeleteHI Rachel, how early can you use this method?
my baby, 1st one, is 4 weeks old this week. I have been having trouble to settle him for the past 2 weeks. He can go hours without sleep. yes.. it became harder to settle him due to overtired. He awake after feeding then cries heaps or became a happy one - very alert with no crying for few minutes (can be up to one hour) then start crying.
I was frustrated initially and left him cry for a while (which according to save our sleep book) can helps to self sette - did not work. he will cry - tired - held and sleep instantly but once u put him back on cot he will be awake and cry again.
To prevent this i tried after about 45 minutes waking time him to sleep - initially put him in his cot and if i am lucky he will falls a sleep himself but most of the time he will cry and need to be held for 1 hour (at least before falling a sleep - after crying).. This happens twice a day.. now extending to after night feeds too .
I am so new at this.. dont even know the different cry. everytime baby wakes up i feed him or if the feeding time is due i feed him (usually every 3 hours)
Any suggestions welcome..
Rachelstella @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
DeleteIvanna,
She suggests starting this "solution" around six weeks but it is up to what you feel comfortable with. For her full plan (extending day feeds and night sleep) she has further requirements.
Don't worry, the cries will get easier with time to figure out. Some people are better at it than others. I've always struggled with it. I guess you could say I don't have a natural ear for it.
Look over the wake time post(found under general sleep) as well as the top sleep post and pre-sleep post.
Rachel
Sharon @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
ReplyDeleteWe were waking up 6-7 times a night putting our 4 month old's pacifier back in his mouth so we decided it was time to get rid of his pacifier. We have been using the CIO method for 10 days now. It seemed to be working for the first night (he slept 12 hours straight, with a DF). However, from then on, it seemed like he was waking up up to three times a night crying/screaming. Sometimes he'd wake up 2 hours after the DF and cry/scream for like half an hour before falling asleep. He is sleeping in his crib in our room so it was really hard to listen to his scream in the middle of the night. I know that he isn't hungry when he woke up at 1 or 2am because I tried bottle feed him but he would always just drink a couple of ounces (he takes about 6 ounces during his other feedings). His naps are short too (30-45minutes long) and he'd always wake up crying. I watched for his sleep cues and put him down everytime he starts yawning or I put him down after he'd been awake for 90 minutes or so. I really am not sure why he'd always wake up crying/screaming and I don't know if he's overtired. Should I not give him a DF and just feed him when he wakes up in the middle of the night? He never had a sleep schedule or routine and we'started setting his bedtime at 7 -7.30pm and did a 20 minute long routine with him every night. He'd still cry/scream for a few minutes, sometimes up to 10 minutes every time we put him down in his crib for his nighttime sleep and naps. Oh, he takes up to 4 naps a day (all about 45 minutes long). Sorry this is so long but I really don't know what else to do. CIO is my last and desperate measure. I really don't want to go back to giving him his pacifier only to have to wean him again in the future. He doesn't even seem to want it now. But he also hasn't learn to suck on his fingers yet. What can I do to soothe him in the middle of the night when he's crying hard and he's not really hungry? Should I pick him up? OR would that defeat the purpose of CIO?
RachelStella @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
DeleteSharon,
It's normal for kids to go back and forth with their sleep training progress, especially the first week. Some children will also take a few weeks to have great improvement and stop waking and crying here and there. Some kids will even cry for a few minutes for a couple years (I know, not fun, but it is the way the child gets ready for sleep) Then you have to keep in mind that there may be disruptions along the way that you may have to work with too (and generally treat the same way you treated stuff initially). So, I think one thing you may need is time. The overtiredness may certainly be contributing to things. Continue with an early bedtime and other things in this post and be consistent. http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2013/01/how-to-set-stage-for-good-sleep-tear.html
If you are doing straight cio, then I would not go in and pick up if at all possible unless you think something is wrong. If you are doing the method on this post, then you would go in and comfort every 5 ish minutes, but try not to pick up. You can soothe in some way if you want to, but you need to have a consistent method and keep attention minimal.
You are fine keeping up with the df if you want to. Look over that post for some specifics on disruptions
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2012/01/dream-feed-troubleshooting-tips.html
Annie @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
ReplyDeleteRachel,
I'm looking to sleep train my daughter this week! The only problem I have is that she doesn't cry for 45 minutes straight. Instead, she takes long breaks in between while sitting in her crib and then makes some crying or whining sounds. As soon as I go into the room, she throws herself on her bed and cries hysterically. Last time I did this, she lasted for three hours from 1AM to almost 4 AM! What to do? Do I just let her cry and sit in that crib all alone for the whole night? I feel like such a monster.
RachelStella @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
DeleteAnnie,
Some kids will do this and it makes it a bit tricky (and even more frustrating). The thing that usually works best is to only give attention when attention is needed. She'll eventually get better at falling asleep and stop doing this if you're consistent. With kids like this, from experience, it seems to take them a bit longer to sleep smoothly through the night than if you have a child that just cries for a bit. On the bright side, many people would rather have those long 'breaks' instead of a child crying the whole time :)
As for being a monster, I don't think you are at all:) You are trying to teach her to get the sleep that she badly needs. Night time is for sleeping and during the day, you play with her and give her cuddles and lots of love I am sure. The key is to be consistent so you can pass through this st as quick as possible. If you are feeling like this method isn't the one for you, then that's no problem. There are other things you can try. Just know that you are just trying to do the best thing for your child and that sometimes that means some tough days to get to that point. She'll be ok. Really, she will. She'll likely be even happier once she gets sleeping better. And she won't remember the hard work the two of you had to do to get there. But she will remember all the love you give her on a daily basis, day after day.
Sandy @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
ReplyDeleteI am surprised nobody is mentioning possible reasons for your crying baby...What is she has to b burp for excample, am I to just let her cry? It must be terribly uncomfortable! Our baby was excactly like that, she would sleep in my arms and cry as soon as being put down. At first she used to have a great babywise routine but then became very collicy in the evenings and later also in the day. We discovered that she had acid reflux and she has medicine for it now which helps her a lot. Now se is back to her daytime routine but the evenings still are tricky, at least she is not up till midnght anymore, usualy down by ten.
Now the problem is that she just seems very awake right around bedtime when acc. To normal time lines she should be tired. What could be reasons for that ( i doubt she is getting too much sleep in the day with around 4,5hrs at ten weeks?) and also I find that she still does have to burp whenever I pick her up but its not at all as bad as before...
RachelStella @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
DeleteSandy,
You'll find reasons for baby crying or not sleeping throughout the site, including needing to be burped.
At 10 weeks, some babies still have a hard time going to bed early. They seem to get extra alert in the evening. Sometimes making sure they are in bed by 6-7 pm fixes this issue. Sometimes you just have to do the best you can for a while until the routine gets more predictable (3/4 months).
rachel