Wonder Weeks are now the Wonder Months

After some complaints from one of my perfectly wonderful sisters, I have updated the When are the Wonder Weeks? post to include months along with the weeks.

Apparently some {ahem, ALL} people don't know exactly how many weeks old their child is at any given time :)

You're welcome!

Dream Feed - Dropping the Dream Feed

You may also want to check out the posts What is a dreamfeed and how do I give it and Dreamfeed Troubleshooting Tips.

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When do I stop the dream feed?

How long you do the df depends a lot on the baby as well as the routine you are following. Some babies can sleep longer stretches at night at an earlier age than others, especially if they are getting adequate food and naps during the day. Some babies take longer to drop the df and are not as consistent of sleepers. Age of solid introduction and solid intake may or not contribute to the situation. I've tried, but I'm not able to come to any conclusion with this yet.

Some signs that baby is ready to drop the df include:  baby consistently sleeping through the night, baby stops waking for the df, baby is difficult to wake for the dream feed but used to wake easily, and baby doesn't eat much at the df. Keep in mind that some babies never wake for the df and other babies start to wake habitually for the df.

Do I drop night feeds, the dreamfeed or a daily feed first?

Most experts suggest you drop all night feeds before dropping daily feeds or the df. This is generally what I recommend (although The Baby Sleep Solution, among others, do things differently). I'm not saying it is the only thing that works, it is just what I have the most experience with and what I have found to work well with my kids and others I have talked to.

After the night feeds are dropped and baby is consistently sleeping through the night (as in, baby has been sleeping through the night for several days at least) you have to decide if you are going to drop the dream feed or a daily feed first (also known as extending the routine or, if you are following The Baby Whisperer, moving to a 4 hour routine). Whatever you do, make sure to give your baby time to adjust with each new change. Most people doing Babywise seem to drop the df before extending their daily routine. The Baby Whisperer suggests extending the routine around 4 months before dropping the df to prevent routine problems. I think The Baby Whisperer has a very good point about a need to extend the routine around 4 months. I wouldn't necessarily say you need to move to a 4 hour routine at this time, but certainly around 4-6 months many babies benefit from an extended routine and problems often start to pop up if you keep delaying this just because you have not yet dropped the df. Something to keep in mind.

Average age the dreamfeed is dropped

• The Baby Whisperer suggests dropping the df once solids are firmly established, usually around 7-8 months. Some good sleepers can drop it sooner though.
• Babywise says that most babies drop the df around 3-4 months of age.
• Gina ford says that most babies need the df until 6-7 months of age. One of the reasons she continues it this long is to prevent middle of the night wake ups when growth spurts occur.
• In The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight, West suggests weaning from the dream feed around 5-6 months of age.

Possible problems resulting from dropping the dreamfeed too soon:

There are loads are growth spurts in young babies, especially the first 6 months. With some babies, if you drop the df too soon, they will do fine for a while, but then have a growth spurt and start waking at night to eat again. If you aren't still doing the dream feed, they are going to be more likely to wake in the middle of the night to eat.

How do I drop the dreamfeed? 

Whatever method you choose, I suggest gradually increasing food during the day before you drop if done cold turkey, or in conjunction with dropping the df if you are doing a gradual dropping method. You could do this by increasing oz or time nursing at each feed or adding a cluster feed before bed.

• Drop it cold turkey. I like this method. I get restless of moving things along too slowly. Unfortunately dropping things cold turkey really backfires with some kids and they will start waking up at all hours of the night. So beware.
• Decrease how many oz or how long you nurse every few nights.
• Slowly move the dream feed closer to the bedtime feed. Once you get pretty close to it (and baby is likely eaten less too) drop it. 
• The Baby Whisperer suggests giving 1 oz less every third night and adding that 1 oz to one of the daily feeds (staring with morning and moving along through the day). At the same time you will move up the dream feed time 30 minutes every third night. Continue until the df time catches up with  the bedtime feed.
• Do a combination of the above methods.

The dreamfeed and breastfeeding:

Once you drop the df you will likely be going around 10-12 hours at night without breastfeeding. This is fine for some moms, but for others, they will need to pump before they go to bed to keep up their supply. If your baby is several months old when you drop the dream feed (compared to say, 3) then there is less of a chance you will need to pump. If you are feeding around every four hours during the day then there is more of a chance you will need to pump. Just monitor the situation. It isn't true that you have to nurse at least 5 times a day to keep up your supply (um, I know because I have nursed several months without doing this), but it also isn't true that moms will be fine only nursing 5 times day. Every mom is different. You will have to figure out what works for you.

If you have any tips about dropping the dream feed please share them!

Birth Stories

I wanted to share a new blog I found called The Birth Stories Blog. It is what it sounds like, a blog about birth stories. You can submit your own if you have one as well as read about other people's experiences. It is a really neat idea!

Have a great day!

Rachel

Dream Feed - Troubleshooting Tips

I put together some troubleshooting tips for the dream feed. I hope they are helpful! You may also want to check out the post What is a dreamfeed and how do I give it and How to drop the dreamfeed.

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Troubleshooting when baby is too sleepy to take the dream feed:

If baby is too sleepy to take the dream feed and you are nursing, look at the suggestions under breastfeeding and the df above. If these don't help, then try pumping and giving baby a bottle. If you are giving a bottle and baby is still to sleepy, try waking baby up a bit for the feed. You can try changing baby's diaper at the beginning of the df or half way through (Just like any other night feed, I never suggest changing baby's diaper at the end of the feed since you want them to be relaxed from the feed and ready for sleep, not revved up from a diaper change). Maybe you will need to unswaddle baby, turn on the light, or even talk to baby for a moment. Just make sure you don't go overboard with these things and certainly make sure to stop doing them as you near the end of baby's feed. Another method to try is moving the dreamfeed a few minutes later when baby may no longer be in as deep of a sleep.

Troubleshooting when baby won't eat:

He may be too sleepy (see above) or he may not be hungry. If he isn't hungry, he may be getting too much food right before bed. You can try dropping the cluster feeding if you are doing it, moving bedtime a bit earlier (while keeping the df time the same) or decreasing how much you feed baby right before bed. Many baby's don't do well with going to bed without a full feed so what might work better is decreasing the feed amount right before the bedtime feed and while moving the bedtime feed a bit earlier and keeping the dream feed at the same time. So, if baby normally eats at 4 and 7 with a dream feed at 10, try feeding him less than usual at 4, while moving the bedtime feed to 6 and keeping the dream feed at 10.

Can the dreamfeed turn into a habitual feed?

Yes, it can, just like any other night feeds. This doesn't usually happen, but keep a look out just in case. I'd suspect this if your baby is far past the age of needing the df but still wants it or if he wakes for the df but only eats a tiny bit. If you suspect a habitual feed, then work on trying to wean from it.

The dreamfeed used to work, but now doesn't

Sometimes keeping the df too long ends up causing sleep problems with babies. It starts to mess up with their nightly sleep rhythms. Other times, all you need to do is change the timing of the df to fix the issues. You will have to do some trial and error to figure out what is wrong. Oh, and don't forget that babies, like us, have their off days. And they get sick too and go through a bunch of developmental stages that can cause havoc with sleep for a time (remember those Wonder Weeks?). So if one bad day pops up, wait it out a bit before making changes. It may be a fluke.

Do you have any helpful advice about dream feeds? Please share!

Signs a Wonder Week is about to Start

Before each Wonder Week most babies act in a predictable way. Yes, even your neighbor's baby that always seems so easy going! They will act fussy, clingy and probably sleep badly. Some babies will be more miserable than others...as will some parents! Why such a change? You can look at these posts, WW Book Review and What are the Wonder Weeks, for more on that. If you want to know when to expect one of these weeks, look at the post When are the Wonder Weeks?

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A couple extra things before I get into the fussy signs

• The fussy periods usually start and stop suddenly, which, of course, is always super fun as a parent :) 
• Your baby's behavior during each fussy period may vary from the previous one.

Here's the list of SIGNS that a Wonder Week is about to start. The signs near the bottom of the list are more likely to happen with older babies.

• Clinginess
• Crankiness
• Crying
• Demands extra attention from caregiver
• Fussiness
• Sleep badly (won't fall asleep, wake often, wake early in the morning etc)
• Restless sleeper
• Wants to be held all day
• May wanted to be treated like a tiny baby again (if she isn't still a tiny baby)
• Extra cuddly with you or with objects
• Loss of appetite
• Stranger anxiety
• Moody
• Listless and Preoccupied and daydreamy
• Wants to suck or nurse much more
• Shyness
• Refuse to have diaper or clothes changed
• Regression of behavior and physical abilities
• Jealousy
• Mischievousness
• Acts sweet (to get attention)
• More temper tantrums

Whoo! Are you worn out yet? Don't worry. After each Wonder Week baby generally has a period where she is super happy and easy going. Many parents of extra fussy babies find themselves praying for this day to come! 

I wasn't planning on adding the below section when I started this post, but I think it'll help many of you feel better about yourselves and know that you aren't alone :) So here it is...

During this time Mom and other caregivers may feel:

• Worried
• Concerned
• Exhausted
• Trapped
• Resentful
• Irritated
• Annoyed
• Aggravated
• Pressured by others
• Insecure
• Consider stopping breastfeeding
• Overwhelmed!!

Has your baby experienced any of these signs before a Wonder Week? How did you handle these phases? Please share your experiences and any advice!

How much sleep did you get last night?

Have you ever noticed that how much sleep someone gets shows a lot about their personality, interests and life circumstances? Such a simple little number can say so much about us!

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Are you a night owl, do you work night shifts, do you have a newborn? Maybe you had a work project you had to stay up for or your family came down with the flu. Maybe you decided to work on your blog (ahem) during your few childless free hours when you should have been snoozing.

So how much sleep did you get last night? And, most importantly, WHY?

Dream Pee

Ha ha, don't you love the title of this? I bet you're wondering what this post is about!

from baby corner

Do you remember the dream feed? You know, the feed that you give baby before you go to bed at night, usually between 10-11? Well, instead of feeding baby before you go to bed, with the dream pee (name courtesy of blogginaboutbabies) you are taking him to the bathroom right before you go to bed. You get him up, put him on the toilet, and quickly put him back to bed. If he's anything like my son Joshua's he won't even open up his eyes.

Now why in the world would you do this? Well, if you have a recently potty trained child (or maybe even a child who has been potty trained for years) you know that not only is bedwetting sometimes a problem, but having to wake up to go pee in the middle of the night or early in the morning often happens. And this means less sleep for your child which means less sleep for you! So if he is going to wake up anyway to go pee, then you might as well wake him up and take him before you go to sleep, especially if bed wetting is an issue.

What has worked for us:
We do the dream pee only occasionally with Joshua. He has been amazingly good at going around 12 hours at night without waking to go pee since he was potty trained (gosh, I'm saying pee a lot in this. What kind of google audience is this going to attract?).  But he does often wake up a little earlier than his diaper days to use the bathroom and doesn't fall back asleep since it is so close to his morning wake time. So If I know he is going to miss a nap the next day or something special is going on, I will often do a dream pee so that he'll sleep in a bit later in the morning.

Another time I do it is when he drinks a lot before bed. I don't usually let him drink loads before going to sleep (for obvious reasons), but sometimes he is crazy thirsty so I let him drink his cup or two before bed. Obviously that amount isn't going to make it sitting in the bladder of a 4 year old until morning!

What might work for you:
Do the dream pee if it makes sense for you. Certainly don't introduce a night waking for your child if it isn't needed, but if it is, I don't see any harm in it. Plus, having to wake up night after night to take a child to the bathroom or change wet sheets, along with other night wakings that may happen with other children (especially newborns!), is really wearing on you. You need your sleep (and sanity) too.

Just like the dream feed, some times may work better than others to wake up your child. This will likely have something to do with his bedtime hour. Try out some times and see how they go and adjust as needed.

One last thought I have concerns a dream pee vs having your child in diapers/pull ups at night. Diapers/pull ups at night aren't the end of the world to me, but I know some parents and kids really don't like using them. If you take away the diapers and introduce this waking to use the bathroom, you will be hurting your child's sleep continuity, or hours of uninterrupted sleep. You'll have to evaluate your own situation to see which option is best for you and your child.

Have you ever done the dream pee? Please share your experiences!