Ahhhh, short naps. Every parent's dream. They visit many and they visit often. And they are as obnoxious as anything....especially if you have just spend the last hour trying to get baby to go to sleep! Am I right?
Short naps, sometimes called the 45 minute intruder due to their length, are especially difficult if you are trying to establish a routine or if you find your child is constantly waking up unhappy (a common sign that she hasn't had enough sleep).
Here are some possible reasons that your baby may be waking early from naps. Not all children will extend their naps (it is a genetic thing), but it is worth a shot!
* Your child is overtired. The waketime length may have been too long before his nap. Overtired children often sleep for less time and have a harder time making it through a sleep transition. Overtiredness is very common and is more likely to be the problem with the morning nap and babies under 2-3 months of age. It isn't uncommon for a baby to wake up 15-30 minutes into a nap if he is overtired.
*Your child is hungry. He could not have eaten as much as he usually eats when he last ate (e.g. he was too sleepy, he didn't feel well) or he could be in a growth spurt.
*Your child was overstimulated before nap time. Were you out and about doing a bunch of new things that may have overwhelmed your baby and been a little too much for him? You may want to try an extra long, soothing pre-naptime routine.
*Your child has a disrupted sleep routine. A disrupted routine could include something that happened the current day or the even the night or day before. While some children don't mind a few disruptions, other children are very affected by them.
Your child has an inconsistent or nonexistent routine. A child that has an inconsistent or nonexistent routine does not have consistent internal rhythms to help him know when he should be sleeping and for how long. See Why have a schedule/routine?
*Your child has a hard time transitioning from light to deep sleep. This is very common with overtired babies and babies that are unable to initially go to sleep on their own (see sleep props/associations--pacifiers, feeding to sleep etc.), but is still very common among babies that are able to initially go to sleep on their own. An awakening would happen around 35-50 minutes (and lengthens to 90 minutes by the time they reach adolescence) which is how long the first sleep cycle typically lasts. Short naps due to these awakenings often (but not always) start around 2-3 months of age as the sleep cycle changes (see understanding sleep stages). See Sleep Training in the blog index and the post extending a short nap for ideas on how to get your baby to sleep longer for naps (this can be used for babies of any age depending on what method you are using and what your personal preferences are).
*Something woke your child up like a loud neighbor or traffic (see Sound And Its Effect On Sleep). If this is the case then try to keep things quiet during your babies nap periods, especially as he goes through sleep transitions. You may also want to consider getting a sound machine
.
*Ford believes that one of the most common causes of short naps is a light room (see Light And Dark And Their Effects on Sleep). I have found this to be true for many children.
*Your child is under tired and/or under stimulated. Some babies will wake up early from a nap if they are put to sleep too early or have too little stimulation or physical activity before the nap (e.g. you do errands all day and your child never has the chance to move around). Most of the time in this is not the case with newborns.
*Your child is getting too much day time sleep or night time sleep. This goes along with the last comment. Add up your child's daytime sleep and see how it compares to the average daily sleep (see Daytime Sleep - What's Average?). See how your child's night time sleep (see Night Time Sleep - What's Average?) compares with the average night sleep. Even if children seem to need sleep at these times and sleep well, they still sometimes need to be weaned a bit from sleep during the day or night so it can be redistributed elsewhere. See Total Sleep - What's Average?
Your child is newly aware of his environment. This often causes nap disruption for several days around 3-4 months of age. Double check to make sure there is a good sleep environment (noise, light etc)
*Your baby was transitioning from one sleep stage to the next and made a sound and you thought baby was done napping before he actually was. Make sure you allow a few minutes to see if baby will go back to sleep before rushing in or automatically assuming a nap has gone shorter than expected.
*Your child is learning a new skill. Children practice new skills (even when they can't quite do the skills yet) before they fall asleep and even in their sleep. Obviously if you're trying to crawl or walk when you should be sleeping it can cause some disruptions :)
*Your child is uncomfortable.
*If your child wakes up happy from his naps, sleeps well at night and is happy during his awake times then it's possible he doesn't need longer naps. Since more than a short nap is usually needed, I would personally be sure to rule out other things on this list before assuming he only needs a short nap.
*Is your baby taking SUPER SHORT NAPS? As in 15-30 minutes (or something like that). Here are some of the more common reasons for this:
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Related Post:
Extending a Short Nap
Short naps, sometimes called the 45 minute intruder due to their length, are especially difficult if you are trying to establish a routine or if you find your child is constantly waking up unhappy (a common sign that she hasn't had enough sleep).
Here are some possible reasons that your baby may be waking early from naps. Not all children will extend their naps (it is a genetic thing), but it is worth a shot!
* Your child is overtired. The waketime length may have been too long before his nap. Overtired children often sleep for less time and have a harder time making it through a sleep transition. Overtiredness is very common and is more likely to be the problem with the morning nap and babies under 2-3 months of age. It isn't uncommon for a baby to wake up 15-30 minutes into a nap if he is overtired.
*Your child is hungry. He could not have eaten as much as he usually eats when he last ate (e.g. he was too sleepy, he didn't feel well) or he could be in a growth spurt.
*Your child was overstimulated before nap time. Were you out and about doing a bunch of new things that may have overwhelmed your baby and been a little too much for him? You may want to try an extra long, soothing pre-naptime routine.
*Your child has a disrupted sleep routine. A disrupted routine could include something that happened the current day or the even the night or day before. While some children don't mind a few disruptions, other children are very affected by them.
Your child has an inconsistent or nonexistent routine. A child that has an inconsistent or nonexistent routine does not have consistent internal rhythms to help him know when he should be sleeping and for how long. See Why have a schedule/routine?
*Your child has a hard time transitioning from light to deep sleep. This is very common with overtired babies and babies that are unable to initially go to sleep on their own (see sleep props/associations--pacifiers, feeding to sleep etc.), but is still very common among babies that are able to initially go to sleep on their own. An awakening would happen around 35-50 minutes (and lengthens to 90 minutes by the time they reach adolescence) which is how long the first sleep cycle typically lasts. Short naps due to these awakenings often (but not always) start around 2-3 months of age as the sleep cycle changes (see understanding sleep stages). See Sleep Training in the blog index and the post extending a short nap for ideas on how to get your baby to sleep longer for naps (this can be used for babies of any age depending on what method you are using and what your personal preferences are).
*Something woke your child up like a loud neighbor or traffic (see Sound And Its Effect On Sleep). If this is the case then try to keep things quiet during your babies nap periods, especially as he goes through sleep transitions. You may also want to consider getting a sound machine
.*Ford believes that one of the most common causes of short naps is a light room (see Light And Dark And Their Effects on Sleep). I have found this to be true for many children.
*Your child is under tired and/or under stimulated. Some babies will wake up early from a nap if they are put to sleep too early or have too little stimulation or physical activity before the nap (e.g. you do errands all day and your child never has the chance to move around). Most of the time in this is not the case with newborns.
*Your child is getting too much day time sleep or night time sleep. This goes along with the last comment. Add up your child's daytime sleep and see how it compares to the average daily sleep (see Daytime Sleep - What's Average?). See how your child's night time sleep (see Night Time Sleep - What's Average?) compares with the average night sleep. Even if children seem to need sleep at these times and sleep well, they still sometimes need to be weaned a bit from sleep during the day or night so it can be redistributed elsewhere. See Total Sleep - What's Average?
Your child is newly aware of his environment. This often causes nap disruption for several days around 3-4 months of age. Double check to make sure there is a good sleep environment (noise, light etc)
*Your baby was transitioning from one sleep stage to the next and made a sound and you thought baby was done napping before he actually was. Make sure you allow a few minutes to see if baby will go back to sleep before rushing in or automatically assuming a nap has gone shorter than expected.
*Your child is learning a new skill. Children practice new skills (even when they can't quite do the skills yet) before they fall asleep and even in their sleep. Obviously if you're trying to crawl or walk when you should be sleeping it can cause some disruptions :)
*Your child is uncomfortable.
- Is his clothing itchy?
- Does he have eczema? Talk to your doctor about getting something to help if lotion doesn't fix the problem.
- Is his mattress uncomfortable? I suggest buying the best mattress you can afford and preferably a hypoallergenic one. If you are using a pack 'n play as a crib you can buy padded sheets and even put additional blankets for padding under the sheets (make sure it is SAFE).
- Is baby too hot or too cold? See Getting the Right Temperature.
- Is he in pain? **Does your young baby have gas? Gas is more likely to be the case if he wakes up around 20-30 minutes into a nap. If you think this is the case, burp your baby, help him calm down and then set him down to try and sleep again. **Is an older baby teething? **Is baby sick? **Does baby have acid reflux? **Does he have a diaper rash? ** I've noticed that some things that don't bother my son too much when he's awake (like teething) will be a bit more bothersome when he is trying to sleep since he doesn't have other things to take his mind off of the pain. You can all probably relate with this when you're trying to go to sleep and you notice your sore neck or back for the first time.
- Does he have a wet diaper? Some children are more sensitive than others and do better with diapers that are extra absorptive like huggies supreme. These unfortunately usually cost more. I would first try the next size up to see if this works.
- Does he have a dirty diaper? If he has a dirty diaper you obviously need to change it. Keeping with the eat/activity/sleep routine usually helps reduce dirty diapers during naps. For more on this, check out the post on poop and sleep.
- Is his tummy upset from something in mom's diet if she is breastfeeding or new solid foods that have been introduced? If your baby is formula fed he may be constipated (uncommon with breastfeeding).
*If your child wakes up happy from his naps, sleeps well at night and is happy during his awake times then it's possible he doesn't need longer naps. Since more than a short nap is usually needed, I would personally be sure to rule out other things on this list before assuming he only needs a short nap.
*Is your baby taking SUPER SHORT NAPS? As in 15-30 minutes (or something like that). Here are some of the more common reasons for this:
- Pain. Does he have gas? Reflux?
- Overtiredness. What was his waketime before the nap? Has he had previous bad naps that day? Is he always missing naps and chronically overtired?
- Active sleep environment. Some babies do not sleep well if there is a lot of light, sound or movement (you are holding them and moving etc) when they are trying to sleep.
- Change in sleep environment. Did you hold or feed baby to sleep and he woke shortly after putting him down? Did you stop the car ride or turn off the swing? Some babies are very good at noticing the difference in how things feel the second, or several minutes after, you put them down or stop the movement.
If this post has been helpful for you, please consider following me on facebook, twitter or subscribing to my posts through email or a reader.
Related Post:
Extending a Short Nap
At around 6 weeks of age my baby started taking shorter and shorter naps, until they were down to exactly 30 minutes. Not 29 minutes, not 31 minutes, 30. He was taking four 30 min catnaps a day and we were both miserable because he just wasn't getting the day time rest he needed.
ReplyDeleteI tried everything. Rocking back to sleep, shushing, pick-up/put down, but no matter what I did once he was up at 30 min, he was up. I kept his wake time short (always less than 2 hours) and started putting him to sleep at the first sign of being drowsy. I even used the CIO method (the most he ever cried was 15 min) to get to fall asleep unassisted. He was sleeping well at night, from 630 pm to 7 am with just one feed around 4 am.
Finally, when he hit the 6 month mark I decided to see what would happen if I left him to cry when he woke up at 30 min mark. To my amazement, after exactly 15 min he fell back asleep and slept for another 90 min. Ditto for the afternoon nap. We are four days into it and he is still waking at exactly 30 min, but he is either not crying or crying for a shorter time before falling back to sleep for a longer nap. Sure I feel terrible about the crying, but it is the only thing that will work for this baby.
It is interesting though. It does go to show you that just because a baby knows how to put himself to sleep or how to navigate sleep transitions during the night, doesn't mean he knows how to transition for naps. It is as if they have to learn each skill separately.
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad your lo starting to sleep longer than 30 minutes! Hopefully it keeps up. It seems like many babies around 4 or 6 months are finally able to get over that short nap hump, although it does take some interventions (like crying) to get there for some of them.
That's totally true about nap and night time sleep being very different for many babies. Some babies seem to always sleep better for naps while others sleep better at night. I'd have to say that most probably do better at night though since there is a strong drive to sleep then.
Thanks, Rachel. Yes, I am happy to report that 7 days after I first started my intervention of letting him cry when he wakes at the 30 min mark, he no longer cries. He still has a jolt and stirs at exactly 30 min, but now he just rolls over and goes back to sleep for another 60-90 min. Woo-ha.
ReplyDeleteThis method is worth a try for other mom's when all else has failed AND the baby is developmentally ready for a little crying.
I really found your site helpful throughout this whole process though. Great info. Thanks.
You're welcome. Hope things continue to go well in regards to naps!
ReplyDeleteWe are at the 5 month mark tomorrow and I am thinking of trying this method. What the Mama says above is my Son exactly! I have already allowed a little CIO along with some S/P and it has worked wonders in getting my LO down for his 4 naps a day. Just still can't seem to make it past the 30-35 minute mark, although the mark used to be 20, so we are making progress. Right now I am trying to leave him in bed until the 1 hr mark as suggested but often he gets too crying to hard before this. One more month and we'll see...
ReplyDeleteThe beagles!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if he is a bit overtired with naps that short.
It can take longer than 6 months to get long naps so try not to be too discouraged if things don't change then :)
Glad to hear that things are improving! If you haven't already, I would introduce a lovey. It might help him a bit to go back to sleep if he has a comfort item there.
Wow, I wish I had found this blog earlier! I also have been struggling with my 16 week old taking 30 minute naps on the nose, not a minute more or less, and not in his crib, unless I was lucky enough that he slept through being put down. I had become a sleep prop and he would sleep beautifully in my arms with my breast right nearby for comfort.
ReplyDeleteOn Saturday (4 days ago) we began implementing the sleep easy solution for naps, which is basically put him to sleep awake and check on him at 5, 10 then 15 minutes until he falls asleep. It was definitely working to get him to sleep by himself, but he still woke at 30 minutes exactly with bloodcurdling cries. Today, with tears in my eyes, I let him cry through it. He cried on and off for 20 minutes, but never for 5 straight. then after 20 minutes of that he slept for another hour and ten minutes!!! I am so proud of him. Thanks for the tips!
~Lara
Lara,
ReplyDeleteThat is great news! It is always good to hear success stories. It can be hard to get there, but well worth it! Hopefully things will keep going great. Just remember that all isn't lost if you have a rough day here and there!
Rachel
Rachel, Thanks for the support. I do have another question for you, though. Now the naps are going great and it's only been a week! He can usually sleep through his transition and his 1st 2 naps of the day are between 1-1.45 hours and a 3rd catnap of 30-45 mins! However, his nights have gotten all messed up. He used to sleep from 7p-3 or 4a, have a quick 15 minute feed, then sleep until 6:30 or 7am. Now he is waking up at 12ish AND at 4 for a feed. I am so exhausted. Suggestions?
ReplyDeleteThanks, again,
Lara
Lara,
ReplyDeleteYou might want to keep things how they are right now to stabilize. I wouldn't be surprised if stuff got back to normal without any change. If it doesn't after several days, then work on dropping one of those night feeds. There are several ways to do it listed in the night waking post. Let me know if you have further questions. So glad the naps are still great!
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that I stumbled across your website and am hoping you can help. I've also implemented the Sleepeasy Solution and my son has been STTN well since 7 months. Now at 12 months I've been trying to train him for naps too (I was rocking and holding him). He was able to sleep 1 hr 20 minutes each nap in my arms. Now that he's on his own in the crib, I can't seem to squeeze out more than 25 minutes. I'm thinking he is overtired, but he doesn't give me any signs of being tired. And I'm usually the one that has to ask if he wants to "Night night" and in which he'll then reply back "night night." Most of the time, he'll cry for 15 minutes before sleeping for 25 minutes and then wake up. I've tried letting him CIO to see if he'll go back to sleep and he never seems to. I give the nap 1 hour (total) before getting him. Should I wait longer? He's kind of a clingy baby and doesn't like to be left alone although he'll play by himself just fine. And he's never woken up happy but is a super happy baby when he is awake. I've been doing this for 4 weeks now and while things are a LITTLE better, it hasn't improved a whole lot. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!
kaylaliao,
ReplyDeleteI think part of the issue might lie in your parenting authority with sleep. Children thrive on limits and need to know who is in charge. Kids are new to this world and just learning things. They only have the capability to do and understand so much. They only have so much self control. Knowing when they need to go to sleep and doing so is a little above most of their ability in my opinion. When they are tired, it is time for sleep. Simple as that. Of course you should be nice and understanding of them, but you do it all the same. There shouldn't be any questinoning when they want to go to sleep etc. Sorry, a bit of a tangent, but I think it is really important.
Many kids stop showing tired cues, or at least only show them when they are overtired. This is where a consistent routine can be helpful because you just slowly change things in time relatively naturally (e.g. baby doesn't fall asleep easily for a nap anymore so you extend waketime prior). In your situation I would keep a sleep log and see how naps do with different waketimes, making sure to give things at least a few days until you decide there is a pattern going on.
I think overtiredness is probably a big issue. So definitely work on that. Work on a positive sleep attitude if you aren't already. Make it a positive experience and keep a positive attitude so your son thinks of it this way.
Working on independent play in the day might help. This means teaching him to play by himself. You not in sight. And when you say it is time to play by himself. Teach him to be happy in his own company. Work on it really slowly.
I usually give a nap 1.5 hours. Naps less than this (unless they are a mini evening one or one that you are about to drop) are too short in my opinion so this is how long I work on them.
I'd work on those things and see what happens. I wonder if something like the baby whisperer might be beneficial since your son is used to being held for naps.
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your reply! I will start a sleep log as you suggested and will definitely look into the Baby Whisperer. Unfortunately, my baby and I both got sick the past week so we have been unable to work on the nap issue, but once he is feeling better, we'll start implementing your suggestions. Thanks again!
Kaylaliao,
ReplyDeleteYuck. Illness is no fun, especially when you are working so hard on trying to get a routine and sleep figured out. Good luck. Hope you all feel better soon!
Rachel
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteMy almost 9 month old's naps have recently tanked. She rarely does more than 45 minutes. However most of the time she is a super happy, very active baby. Though she does wake crying from naps. She does wake at night, but quickly puts herself back to sleep and does wake early (4-5:30). I have been trying an early morning feed and sometimes that gets her back to bed for a bit, but not always. I sometimes resort to bringing her into bed in the morning, which can also sometimes get us a bit more sleep.
I thought maybe I needed to extend awake times since she plays happily and doesn't cry before falling asleep, but it doesn't seem to make her sleep longer. Ive been trying 2.5 before first nap, 3 hrs before 2nd (and 2.5-3 before third nap, if there is one). Does she sound overtired to you? Any suggestions on improving naps? She usually goes to bed between 6-7, depending on whether she had 2 or 3 naps (usually 3 since naps are short), and sleeps 10.5-11.5 hours at night (usually closer to 10.5). Thoughts?
Thanks!
Also, I should emphasize that she is VERY active for her age...never stops moving even when asleep! And while she does wake crying from some naps, it's usually only for a few minutes and then she moves onto babbling and crawling around her crib.
ReplyDeleteHi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI've been going over this post about short naps for days to try and troubleshoot my LO's short naps, and am still having trouble figuring out what's going on! :) I just thought I'd write and ask your opinion as well.
Hi naps used to be 45 mins long, but over the last couple of days, they have become 30 mins in length. I have tried lengthening WT but without much success, unless I am not lengthening it by enough and need to make it much longer.
I see in my video monitor that when he wakes at 30 mins, he does initially try to go back to sleep, by rocking his head side to side, which is what he does to fall asleep at the beginning of a nap. He doesn't wake crying. Sometimes he is quiet with some gentle noises, other times he talks at a high pitch (those times, he usually has gas). Though he tries to fall back asleep, from what I can tell, he usually will remain awake for 1 hour before finally falling back asleep again.
Does this sound like he is under tired or under exercised to you? Or should I just try totally scaling back his WT and seeing if he can make it? Thanks for your help!
I also forgot to mention that because he does seem to need to go down earlier for his first nap in the morning, about 1 hr to 1 hr 15 mins in order for him to (occasionally) do a 1.5 hr nap, it throws me off because I can't quite figure out how long he should be up for with the rest of the naps. I also think he needs to go down this early because he generally does not sleep right to our wake time at 7 am, but is up for a while, quiet in bed, maybe up to an hour beforehand.
ReplyDeleteWell, kept her up for about 3 hours before both naps today, and both were over an hour long! Maybe it was time to let her stay up longer (she is almost 9 months)...we will see what tomorrow brings.
ReplyDeleteYaliberms,
ReplyDeleteSorry for the delayed response! Likely she is crying right when she wakes because she is overtired and feels crummy right upon waking. But then she sees things and likes her little fun world and wants to play so her disposition improves.
An increased waketime definitely might help. Just do it slowly and keep track of what helps and hurts. Also, a super early bedtime for a while night help her get back on track with sleep and overtiredness.
Yaliberms,
ReplyDeleteforgot to mention that once you get that first nap figured out it'll make the rest of the day a lot easier to figure out, especially with waketimes.
Clare,
ReplyDeleteMy guess is that he is undertired with the naps since he sits there for an hour then falls alseep. How old is he again?
Yeah, it is really important to get that first nap down with some kids if you want the rest of the day to flow easily. But many kids have issues with waking super early in the morning so this can be struggle! You just have to see what usually works and adjust things if they sleep is off from the norm that day.
Thanks Rachel,
ReplyDeleteThe increased waketimes definitely made a difference! We have gotten naps of an hour-2 hours thaw last few days with increased waketimes. I wouldn't have believed it was that simple!
Now we are just struggling with finding the optimum bedtime. Is there a recommended time for 9 month olds to be awake before bed? Too long and it takes her an hour to fall asleep! So we put her down early but she always wakes before 6, no matter what. I would like to adjust that's later if at all possible! Any suggestions?
yaliberms
ReplyDeleteYeah! I'm so glad naps have improved. Waketime really can make a huge difference. There is such an emphasis to not cause overtiredness with newborn (with due reason) that many parents are so careful as their baby gets older that they end up not giving enough waketime which causes whole new problems.
waketime before bed for a 9 month old is probably going to be a bit longer than the rest of the waktimes. Maybe 2-3.5 hours. I really can't be more exact than that because it varies so much from baby to baby. sorry!
I'd work on getting those naps and bedtime figured out. then hopefully you can work on moving the whole routine back a bit little by little. Also make sure to rule out other things (see post) that may be causing the early morning wake ups.
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteMy DS is 24.5 weeks old now, so I know a WT of 1 hr to 1 hr 15 is quite short, although that tends to be when he is sleepy especially in the mornings when he wakes early and is quiet in bed. I have no idea how long he's been up for during those times, unfortunately!
Clare,
ReplyDeleteMy oldest likes to sit in bed silent for a while which made things tricky when he was younger. Maybe you can get up early to exercise or do something else and listen with the monitor for when he wakes to give you a better idea of what is going on.
I really think a longer waketime in the morning might be a fix for you, even if he seems tired sooner. It might backfire of course(some babies this age really can only do that much time), but if that happens, you can always go back to what you were doing previously. Just move waketime slowly.
good luck!
Rachel
My 6 month old daughter constantly wakes early from naps (30 to 45 minutes). I tried shush/pat but she becomes overstimulated and won't go back to sleep. I've done wake to sleep, and it seems to work okay. I can get her to extend a 45 minute nap to 1.5 hours. However, she's still waking cranky and fussy. I feel that her naps need to just a little longer than 1.5 hours to be sufficient. So my question...what is your opinion on using a swing to extend naps? If I put my daughter in a swing, she'll sleep 2 hours or more and wake up happy. But I'm concerned that I could be creating a long-term problem.
ReplyDeleteMary Michal,
ReplyDeleteAt this age I'd probably use the swing. Many babies stop falling asleep with the swing as they get older and will naturally extend naps as they get older. Sometimes you have to work at it when you get to this point, but often it happens on it's own. As long as she can go to sleep on her own initially, you will likely be ok.
hi, Rachel your website is really great, it has so much information.
ReplyDeleteI need help to actually make a nap schedual for my daughter. she is 4 months old and she is a short napper. I have also tried putting her down in her crib for a nap and she refuses to calm down and fall asleep, so i am not consistent with his which i know i should be. but since she is napping so short she is getting tired earlier then the 2 hour mark which mean she needs go to down for a nap again. so it almost seems like she would be in her crib napping often through out the day untill she actually gets on a schedual which im hoping will help he sleep longer. how do i get a her on a routine. and should i just let her cry it out untill she falls asleep in her crib. ? because at nightime she sleeps in there no problem.
Shelbey,
ReplyDeleteMost 4 month olds can only go 1.5 hours between sleep periods, and that is with decent naps. Some can go 2 hours, but normally that is more in the evening rather than morning.
Even on a routine, they will seem like they are napping on and off most of the day until they are a bit older. It can be tiring at first, but it gets much less frequent when they get a bit older.
You can do the "eas" routine. You eat (feed baby a full feeding) then do an activity, then do sleep time when baby is tired. Repeat. Make sure you monitor wake time. Have a good pre sleep routine (see post). With short naps you may end up having more of "easae" routine. You have to do what works with you. Just first work on getting the feeds 3-4 hours apart during the day. Then I'd work on naps more. You can do some cio. It is up to you and what you feel comfortable with. Defiantly make sure you have wake times figured out before you go for that. And at 4 months of age you may want to do relatively frequent checks during cio. Look over to see if you have any sleep props going on (see post). Keep a sleep log to monitor things (see post).
hi rachel,
ReplyDeletethank you thank you for this amazing blog! i'm really happy that we found you and all this wonderful information!
in hopes of giving you less questions to answer, i've searched the index a lot to see if i can get some tips but perhaps it would be easier to just tell you our story and see if you could suggest something.
our 10 month old boy has had a slew of sleep drama from birth and through trial and error, and our BEST efforts as first time parents to try and read his needs and respond in the best possible way, we've created, i fear, A BIG PROBLEM. at this point, our son can only fall asleep with vigorous rocking/bouncing/shushing and being eased into the crib in the softest way possible (even then he may wake, and be SO WIDE AWAKE in seconds that we have to start all over again!) and if i'm doing it, he has to have his arms around my neck and gently stroke my hair (only he ends up PULLING my hair instead - pure torture since i'm so tenderheaded) sometimes this process can take an hour (whether for a nap or before being put to bed for the evening) and after that, if this is a nap, he'll wake after a half hour, if it's the evening he wakes up hourly until 10:30 which is when i nurse him and take him to bed with me for the night. the rest of the night he sleeps in bed with me waking twice on a good night to nurse, and on a bad night multiple times with long periods of being WIDE awake!
we've tried the less aggressive forms of sleep training where we shorten the ritual, ease him into the crib drowsy but it seems that our baby is either completely asleep or wide awake and sometimes within seconds! even with this less aggressive approach, we've had severe backlash from him - lots of crying in our arms, sometimes for 90 minutes!
the only other more aggressive method we've tried was the sears method where we place him in the crib awake and sit there with him, and only pick him up when he's really upset. well he gets so upset that picking him up stops the crying only a bit and we can tell that he's legitimately confused as to why we're not holding him and only putting him back in the crib! so this method lasted a day.
i know that the problem is also with us - we're first time parents, we really want to respond to our baby's needs and have only the best intentions, but in the end we've gone so far to an extreme that we're physically exhausted at this point and confused with how to proceed. ultimately we would like to have our baby nap longer than a half hour, not wake hourly after being put down for the night and have a less strenuous falling asleep routine (preferably be able to fall asleep on his own in the crib).
i feel like i don't even need to ask you a question, but only send an SOS!!!!
again thank you so much ahead of time - i know how little time i have as a mom so i know this must be a large effort on your part to have this blog. it is appreciated :)- happy new year!
rada
Asd123,
ReplyDeleteI certainly haven't forgotten how it feels to be a first time mom. And I certainly knows how it feels to want to do the best there is for your baby. It is hard to know what to do so that everyone (because I truely believe you, and your marriage, are just as important as your baby and that taking care of these things helps your baby indirectly) is happy and functioning well.
Anyway, it gets better with time. I promise. You get more confident, but you always worry. They are children and you are their parents and are in charge of them and their growth and happiness. It is a big responsibility!
I will give you some advice. But you need to do what you feel most comfortable with. My methods often differ from sears, although I think (but I'm pretty sure he would disagree) my desires are similar. Just make sure you keep in mind your ultimate goal and realize that things will be, in your situation, MUCH harder at first but will get MUCh better in the long run. You will suddenly have free time on your hands to have a bit of your own life, soemthing that every mom needs.
So first, you need to be consisten with what you do. If you have been doing some seras approaches then my guess is that you are'nt going to want to jump to cio. The baby whisperer is a good in between. Quicker results than soem of the more gentler approaches and somewhat gentle itself. You can keep doign the gentle appraoches (I have several listed under the no cry sleep solution) and try some new things. They may work, but with your son, they seem a little less likely to work. And it sounds like you would like some changes sooner than later too. This means, in my personal opinion, that you will need to do more aggressive approaches. So I would start with the baby whisperer. Check out the label with all her stuff and see how it looks to you. Maybe even consider getting her book. And do a super early bedtime. That can only help right now. Get back to me when you get an idea of what you would like to do. I can't choose for you, becaue I don't know what you would feel comfortable (or semi-comfrotable with, no method is very fun!) with. Sorry for the late reply! busy season
Rachel
hi rachel!!!
ReplyDeletethanks so much for responding to us - and don't worry about it being late - everything we do is with a "sorry it's so late" tagline :)
since we posted our sos to you we made some MAJOR changes!! i'm happy to report we made a plan and have stuck to it since new year's eve! several changes were implemented: kai is now sleeping in his own room and we are no longer rocking him vigorously as he holds on tight and pulls my hair ;) so not sure what book this idea would fall under but basically my husband came up with a plan for either of us to climb in the crib with our son and lay him down and every time he tries to get up, just put him back down and keep our hand on his tummy but try to avoid rocking him with the hand (although some nights we have to resort to that b/c he is just too wound up)
the first night we did this was nye - he cried for 1hr 15 min. i thought it was awful! but by the next day at naptime, it took only 30 minutes (which is how long it would sometimes take with us rocking him!!!!) ever since then, things have slowly been improving - we are SO much happier, and kai doesn't seem terribly phased by all the changes. we're trying to play more in his room so that he understands it's his space (not sure if i mentioned this in my last post but he basically didn't have his own room b/c he slept with me since he was born, and his toys were kind of all over the house).
the only downside is that it IS more difficult for us to get up in the middle of the night and try to put him back to sleep. he still wakes up often 2-4 times per night (sometimes for an hour!) and he's had several days where he woke up for the day at 5am. i use to just nurse him half awake when he slept with me but i know that that was a slippery slope and at the end it really was a quick free fall, with him waking up constantly with every movement i made! so i guess we're working on that now, but as i said, this is a VERY different household than when i last posted!
thank you for your words of encouragement rachel - every bit helps!!!
rada
asdf123,
ReplyDeleteThat's great you found a method that worked for you guys. I heard of that method in various place. The trick is to get your baby used to you not being next to them when they fall asleep. This will help them stop waking up for you if they can put themselves to sleep all by themselves. Usually, if you want to keep up a similar approach, it works well to move farther from baby until you out of the door. Or to leave baby sooner and sooner until you can leave befor he falls asleep. Keep up the great work. I'm so glad things are going better for you. I can feel your excitement from reading your post :)
Rachel
Hi Rachel -
ReplyDeleteThis is blog is fantastic - thank you! My baby girl is 14 weeks old. We are struggling with 45 minute naps and I have just started implementing the baby whisperer techniques. When she wakes, I go in and try to sh/pat her back to sleep. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I generally stay in there and try to keep her in her bed for another 45 minutes with the hope that someday she'll nap for 1.5 hrs. But, my question for the moment is how to calculate wake times if she is awake for most of that 2nd 45 minutes. Do I calculate from when I get her up or from when she actually wakes?
For ex:
she sleeps from 10-10:45
we stay in her room attemtping to get her to fall back to sleep until 11:30
Do we start her next nap around noon or 1:45? Or somewhere in between? She usually has a wake time of about an hour and 20 minutes if things are good.
Thanks!
Leah
Leah,
ReplyDeleteI usually calcuate waketime in this situation as 50% of real waketime. So if she has been up 1 hour in her bed, it is 30 minutes waketime. Weird, but that is what has worked for me and many moms. You may get to a point later on where you will have to go more by the clock than something like this, but you have some time yet, in my opinon, until that happens.
Rachel
Hi!
ReplyDeleteI have an 18 week old son. Today, I decided something needs to be done about his sleeping as he only sleeps 30-45 minutes for naps, wakes up tired, and is then super crabby after an hour. We had been rocking him to sleep, which had been taking too much time, so today I decided we would put him in his crib drowsy but awake. We have tried putting him in his crib drowsy but awake before, but once he gets in his crib, he is quiet for a few minutes, then he starts talking, cooing, and laughing. He just won't go to sleep. He very rarely cries (although sometimes near the end of the day he will cry). He sleeps well at night- from around 6-7am (occasionally waking up at 5:30 to nurse). He is usually a mess by the end of the day, and is very crabby. Thoughts?
karyn,
ReplyDeleteIf you leave him in his bed, even with the laughing, will he eventually go to sleep? Is the sleep enviornment condusive (see posts)? Do you have a good pre-sleep routine? Since you normally rock to sleep, maybe it would help to continue doing this, but rock less each time until he is eventually going down drowsy. If these things don't help, then you could look at the sleep training posts in the index and see if any of the methods sound good to you.
Rachel
Thanks for the response. We have put up room darkening curtains, but it is still light enough to see. Perhaps I should try to make it darker? And he does not fall asleep when left in the crib, he normally laughs and talks for quite some time, with perhaps some crying towards the end of the hour. Today, when I tried this (he was screaming for about 20 minutes before putting him in his crib, clearly tired) he cried for 30 minutes, then was talking and cooing in his crib, then cried again for 5 minutes, an hour total. Perhaps we need to try and make our nap soothing routine more solid as well: what do you suggest? Thank you!
ReplyDeleteKaryn
Hi,
ReplyDeleteFirst, as an FYI, I made the room as dark as I could. Today, he woke up at 6am, nursed, was put back in his crib awake, was quiet in his crib until 7:05 (I don't know if he slept or not), seemed tired around 7:30, soothed, put back in crib at 7:50, he cried from 8:00-8:45. Slept from 8:45 to 9:45, woke up and never really seemed like his normal active self. He fell asleep nursing at 11:45, slept until 12:30. I kept him in his crib until 1:15 to see if he would fall back to sleep (he was not crying), just fussing. He did not fall back to sleep. Got him up, nursed, played, he again was not active like he normally is. Nursed again at 2:10, he fell asleep for 10 minutes. Woke up talking, cooing in crib, started crying at 2:40, and that's where we are now. My questions: I nurse him when he first wakes from naps, but he only nurses for a short time. I try a few times to nurse him during his wakeful period, where he might nurse for a few minutes, but not long and I can tell he hasn't gotten much milk. Then, when I start to soothe him and get him ready for his nap, he is sucking on my arm or trying to eat his hand. He is persistent that he wants to nurse. So, I nurse him (he actively nurses for about 10 minutes, usually), and he falls asleep nursing. I just don't understand why it is he only wants to nurse when he is being soothed to sleep- I mean, I know that babies like to suck, but he won't take a pacifier, and I don't want to withhold nursing him since he didn't nurse well before then. Is it okay to continue to do this? Could this be contributing to his poor naps?
Also, is a 5:30 bedtime too early? He most of the time is super crabby by that time and it is a struggle to get him to stay awake until then. He sleeps until about 7am (usually). Do you think this could be contributing to his poor naps? I am at a loss for what to do with him.
Karyn,
ReplyDeleteHere are two posts about nap routines:
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/07/four-s-wind-down-ritual.html
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/sleep-routine.html
You can always try putting cardboard in the windows. This makes the room really dark and if it makes a difference you can consider upgrading, if not, you didn't waste money for nothing :)
Karyn,
ReplyDeleteSorry, just saw you had another comment so some of the other stuff I said may not have applied.
If he is napping badly and obviously overtired, I think 5:30 isn't too early if it works. Does he nurse much during the night? This is wakeitme during the night too.
Nursing to sleep is one (if not the number one) thing that ends up causing issues sleeping--difficulty falling asleep, short naps, frequent wake ups. It doesn't cause issues for every baby (or even mom), but from what I've seen, it does end up causing some sort of issue some time or another, even if the mom decides the issue is something she is fine living with. A helpful post about sleep props:
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/02/sleep-propsassociations.html
He is likely not going to eat much at each feeding because the is snacking all day. He never really has time to get hungry enough to eat much. And he is in the habit of eating before naps (eating and maybe just sucking for comfort too?) which fills him up probably until the next nap. He is at an age where he is more excited with his environment which makes feedings during the day with things going on more difficult, especially if he isn't very hungry. He is also a much quicker eater at this age so he may be getting more in than you think. If you want him to go asleep without lots of time and stay asleep for longer, I would encourage you to drop the feeding to sleep. I would also encourage you to try to get full feedings in. I'm suggesting this because it often makes a huge difference for many people, but if you don't feel comfortable about it, then don't do it. Here's a post that might help:
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/05/full-feedings.html
Also, I would try to keep some sort of sleep log to get an idea of his wake time (see post in index) as well as his daily routine. This will help you out a lot. Baby's cues can get a little misleading as they get older and this will help you troubleshoot more effectively.
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2010/02/keeping-sleep-log.html
Hi Rachel!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your advice... we have already seen some longer naps over the past few days. I have a few more questions for you (if you don't mind!). First, I know you are supposed to follow the eat, play, sleep routine during the day, and this is where I get confused about feeding. If I only feed when he wake up from a nap/sleep, he would only get 3/4 feedings. He is EBF, and I guess I just never understood how to follow this and not end up nursing him to sleep. He just always seems to fall asleep when I feed him before naps! Any insight on this would be helpful! It would be wonderful to only feed him when he is really hungry instead of giving him snacks!
Also, my husband and I are trying to get him to fall asleep on his own (as I previously mentioned). We read Happy Sleep Habits Happy Child and have been attempting to follow method A, which is the soothe until drowsy but awake. Does this apply to all naps/bedtime or is it okay to soothe until asleep for bedtime? I have a very hard time listening to him scream but am willing to do what is best for him to sleep well, as I think it's important for he and I!
And, in response to your question, he sleeps well at night, typically from about 5:30/6pm to 7am. He will occasionally wake up for a feeding around 5, and if he does that he normally goes back to sleep until about 8/8:30.
Also, I have been doing a sleep log for about a month, and have not yet seen much of a routine/pattern. I think because he was only sleeping 30/40 minutes for naps, he would be tired within 30 minutes and go down for another nap after about half an hour of soothing. Thank you for all your help/advice!
Oh! One more thing: I mentioned that we were following HSHHC; in that book, it states that babies should take naps around 9 and 1, while watching your child for signs of drowsiness. If these are the best times to sleep, how do you vary the schedule if your baby is supposed to go to sleep after being awake for 1-2 hours? For example, let's say my baby wakes up at 7, is tired by 8:30 and goes down for a nap, sleeps until 10:00, is then tired at noon, but the ideal nap time is then not until 1? And then if he sleeps from noon until 1:30, there is still 4 hours until his bedtime, unless we give him a late afternoon nap from 3:15-4:15, which I find just makes him cranky and gives him trouble falling asleep at night. I think we are just having trouble with the timing of naps and scheduling. Thank you again- Karyn
ReplyDeleteKaryn,
ReplyDeleteAh, I have had this question more than once. Those nap times are there I believe because of the dip in alertness that normally happens (sorry, I can't remember 100% this second). If it were me, I would focus more on nap cues and wake times. Don't push a child to sleep later if it is going to cause issues. If you find your current nap times don't work, then go ahead and push closer to these times. Certainly don't try to "fix" something that isn't broken (i.e. move to certain nap times because you are suppose to).
Rachel
Karyn,
ReplyDeleteSaw your comments in the opposite order :)
So you start with the eat/play/sleep routine but it evolves as baby gets older and their sleep needs change a bit. So you start off by feeding after each nap at first, but as they age you may have feeds at totally different times.
At 18 weeks most babies are on 3-4 naps. So you feed first thing in the morning, nap 1, feed, nap 2, feed, nap 3, feed, nap 4, some wake time before bed then feed before bed. If you need to, add in other feeds. If he is falling asleep to eat at this age, he probably needs to eat sooner before it gets closer to bed (if that is the only way the feed fits in) or needs to go to sleep sooner.
Many babies will start to skip those extra wake ups at night when you soothe to sleepy rather than sleep at bedtime. Some babies will not do as well for naps if you have them not sleep trained for bed. So you have to decide what you think is best for you. I have always nursed my kids to sleep at bedtime (if they would--generally they stopped after a few months of age) and have never had problems, but they knew how to sleep on their own from an early age.
Just work on extending those feeds out slowly.
Overtiredness causes many issues, but sometimes keeping kids on a routine with approximate nap times even if they sleep badly helps to get things on track. Jut an option. You might want to try waking up no later than 7:30 in the morning. He may be getting too much night sleeps which is robbing his day sleep. and a Too late of wakeup can causes problems itself sometimes.
Rachel
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much- there is just so much to think about and keep in mind while trying to get your baby to sleep well! Who knew it would be so hard?
One more thing: the past few nights my baby has gone to sleep around 5:45/6:00 after having eaten, but then wakes up at 6:45 wanting to nurse again. I end up nursing him because I am confused as to what's going on as he has never done this before, and he is drowsy, so I put him down awake. He falls asleep no problem. What is going on? Should I not go to him? Thanks for all your help!
Karyn,
ReplyDeleteThere really is so much to take into account. Some babies will sleep well no matter what, but other babies need everything perfect or they will not nap or will be up at all hours of the night for years. At least having a tough baby helps you develop lots of understanding and compassion huh? I tell myself that at least. I am a much more understanding, and hopefully compassionate, person because of my particular children, my oldest in particular :)
Sorry for the last reply, not sure if you are still having this issue. He maybe be waking because he thinks bedtime is a nap, he is overtired etc and the food and sucking helps him go back to sleep. It is possible he isn't getting enough in before going to bed, but I think this is less likely at his age. But maybe he is super tired when he goes to bed and doesn't eat much? I would probably feed for now and see if it goes away on it's own. Much easier for now (because it very likely will go away on its own in not too long of a time) than moving tons of things around searching for a solution. If it doesn't go away, then start seeing what you can change and possibly don't go into him, or go in but help him go to sleep without food.
Rachel
Dear Rachel hi,
ReplyDeletemy baby is 4.5 months, well in a 4 hours rutin (she eats every 4 hours and goes to sleeo every 2 hours)
but she usually only sleeps for 30-45 minuets during day naps
sometimes she wakes up happy talking to her self calmly, and sometimes she wakes up crying
in both ways I can't get her back to sleep
I tryed the PU PD but the problem is that when she cryes, no matter what I do she won't calm down and stop crying, so it's a problem to put her down
In addition, in the times she wakes up not crying, I can't put her back to sleep with PU PD cause she isn't crying so why PU?...
at night she goes to sleep between 07:30-08:00 P:M, sometimes she wakes up after 45 minuets and it can take up to an hour to get her back to sleep, and the she wakes up about 3-4 hours later, I feed her and if we are lucky it keeps her until the morning, usually it doesn't and she wakes up every 1-2 hours
I an tired...
How can I make her day naps longer concidering everythin I wrote?
Thanks
Hi Rachel, I've come across your fantastic blog and am really hoping you can help.
ReplyDeleteI have twin girls who are 20 weeks old. They were dummy dependent and waking a lot during the night so we went cold turkey a couple of weeks ago with CIO and they are now brilliant night sleepers going 7pm - 7am. Some mornings I wake them and others they wake themselves. The CIO wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and they were sleeping and self-settling after 2 nights.
The problem we now have is that daytime naps have gone to pot and are rarely longer than 45 minutes and sometimes even shorter. They were waking during naps before but I'd give them the dummy and they'd usually go back to sleep.
E's naps have been bad since we got rid of the dummies but C's have only started to get bad in the past couple of days.
We've recently dropped the dreamfeed for both of them and I wondered if this might be affecting their daytime sleep? Even though it hasn't made a difference at night.
The schedule we follow is:
7am - wake & feed - 170-200ml (bottle fed)
8am - rice & pear (we've just started weaning)
9am - sleep
11am - wake & feed - 200-260ml
12 - carrot, squash etc
1pm - sleep
3pm - wake & feed - 200-260ml
4.30pm - nap. Usually out in the pram.
5.20pm - we're going to start having solids at this time but haven't yet. I haven't quite worked out how to make this work with the timings of baths etc
5.50pm - E starts her bottle (because she's a very slow eater) while C is in the bath
6.10pm - E in bath
6.30pm - C bottle & E finishes hers. They take anywhere between 200 & 260 ml but usually around 230-260ml
7pm - bed
Any advice you can give is much appreciated!
I should have said that they share a cot and are often waking each other. For example at 1.45 today when Charlotte woke Elizabeth was still asleep but woke soon after. Although that could have been that she went to sleep a bit later and her first cycle was a few minutes later.
ReplyDeleteMireowl,
DeleteI'd evaluate if a slight change in wake time makes any difference.
Sounds like it is probably an issue of Them not being able to soothe back to sleep upon waking since this was the main change. Also, their age likely has a lot to do with things. They are getting more interested in their environment and less likely to sleep with outside disruptions--even their twin next to them. You may need to start separating them for them to slep well. You might want to look over the slep environment posts. Maybe they will be able to fall asleep after being left for a short time but maybe they will need help going back to slep on their own for a while.
The df could have caused an issue if they are now not getting enough food during the day and are waking hungry at nap time.
Make sure to introduce some kind of lovey. On bad nap days make sure to move bedtime earlier to help prevent over tiredness. Make sure solid food introduction doesn't seem to be causing tummy pains,
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHello Rachel,
ReplyDeleteFirst THANK YOU! for such a wonderful blog, and taking the time to answer our doubts, it's truly great to have someone to shed some light. I have a 7 month old baby girl, and she has never big a great napper, but at 5.5 months we finally got her to sleep on her own. She was doing great (for her at least). Her routine was something like this:
- 7am wake up and feed (BOTTLE)
- 8am BREAKFAST (SOLIDS)
- 9am FIRST NAP (1hr 15 min)
- 12 pm SECOND NAP (1hr-1.30 min)
- 4:30pm NAP (30-40 min)
- 6:45 pm in bed (asleep by 7:15/7:30)
THAT was then... now, she is all over the place, she is only taking 30 min naps at anytime, I've tried working with the awake time, from 90 min- 2hrs, the only difference is the time/mood she goes to sleep in, i.e. 90 min babbling and with no cry, 2hrs after complaining. But even at 90, she won't be asleep after 2 hrs, while at 2hrs she'll fall asleep sooner but crankier. Also she is now waking up at 6 am or earlier.
I've tried awake to sleep for naps, doesn't work as she wakes up and is wide awake, even at 20 min into the nap. If I let her self soothe, she can stay awake for an hour in her crib (no crying), but won't go back to sleep, at which point she is only 30 min short of her next nap. IT is becoming increasingly difficult to do everything, even feed her, as her naps (or catnaps) move her feeding time (previously every 4 hours) all over the place, she is cranky too which doesn't help with the solids routine, she it too tired to eat. Right now for example, she slept 30 min at 7:50 am (After waking up at 5:45 am), 90 min after that I put her back in and she was up again 25 min after that (I let her in her crib for an hour, with no success), took her out, changed her (just in case) let her play for a little in her gym, and put her back 1 hr and 20 min after she awoke (she had already yawn once), so far its been 27 min since I put her to bed (2hrs and 4 min total after she's been awake), and she is still complaining. What can I do??? I am desperate at this point.
Could I be misusing the awake times, i.e. should I put her to bed after 1.5/2 hrs after she's up of should she be asleep after this time (she can take any time from 20-40 min to fall asleep). Also, how much does awake time vary with such short naps? How much time should I leave before the first nape (she sleeps between 10 and 11 hours). Apologies for the mountain of questions, I am clueless on what to do, and where to start. Thank you
Vivanne Vivance,
DeleteSorry for the late reply. I missed this in my inbox.
I'd do a very early bedtime right now to help her get over the over tiredness.
The waketime can get pretty confusing. With many kids going to sleep happy means too early or just right and going to sleep late means more than usual crankiness (some kids will always be upset that it is sleep time, especially during particular ages). But this isn't always the case so you have to sort or test it out and see what your child does and keep in mind that it may change as they get older. It gets easier to tell with time, I promise. A sleep log can help. It sounds like you have been keeping good track of things. Look over the list above again and make sure there isn't something that you may have missed.
If she was at 3 hours at almost 6 months, then she'd probably need longer than that (remember, these little ones are always changing) at 7 months. If you don't keep changing as she changes, then you'll end up with issues. I'm not saying this was the cause of all of this because there are always so many things going on with kids, but I'm reminding you of this for now and the future.
I wonder if she is learning to crawl or pull herself up or something. If you don't have a video monitor, could you borrow one to see what she is up to?
Have you left her for several days in a row to see if she'll go back to sleep?Sometimes it takes some time and then kids will start to do this. Remember to make sure her room is conducive to sleep--dark etc.
If you can't get her to extend the naps right now you can always go to more frequent naps. I can't say for sure how her waketime will change with short naps. It depends so much on the child. I often drop waketime by 25-50% depending on how the child responds. So if she is normally at 2 hours but has a short nap, then I might make waketime 1.5 hours instead.
Getting over the over tiredness issue helps resolve issue with many kids. A very early bedtime for a short while often helps tons with this. More frequent naps for a while may help. Some kids end up doing better if you keep naps at the same time (of course, you have to have some kind of idea what time will work best) regardless of over tiredness and sleep cues. They end up getting used to falling asleep at these times and then start to sleep longer. You will have to test out the methods to see what works best for you guys.
Rachel
Amazing tips Rachel, they worked! The early bedtime for overtired days, and the extra minutes in bed (more than a couple of days) even worked for early morning wake up times... she is now sleeping from 1-1.5 hours per nap. She has some days where she gets "off course" but she has indeed just learned to pull herself up, so I guess it is meant to happen. Thanks again sooo much for your help.
DeleteThat's great to hear vivanne! I love to hear success stories and it is always super nice to know that I have been able to help someone. Sometimes it feels like I am writing posts into space ;)
DeleteRachel
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteWow, this blog is so great!! I am soaking it up. I feel like I have educated myself a great deal about sleep and sleep training in the journey to my 3rd child now, but somehow I still am not naturally skilled at handling problems and have generally sensitive sleepers, each one. I am so impressed, in any case, and can tell that you have that special knack of troubleshooting! I have been reading this post and the extending short naps post. If you have time to offer an opinion...
My daughter is 14 weeks old. I transitioned at 12 weeks from holding her to sleep for every nap (and getting short naps) to having her go down independently (and getting mostly short naps, maybe once a day a longer one, maybe). She does remarkably well going down on her own, just some fussing here and there, lots of cooing to herself, and some crying, but not as badly as I had feared. She does take a LONG time to go to sleep at each period. I keep her up about 1h10 to 1h15mins after waking. She generally takes 4 short naps per day, ~30mins each. Yuck. I am a big fan of compensating for bad naps with very early bedtimes. My boys did great with this and went to bed at 5:30 when naps were bad, and I believe this eventually helped their naps. I have a hard time getting her down for her 4th nap if it lands at 4 or later (she'll cry all the way to 5), or for a 5pm bedtime if she's had 3 short naps and they're ending early in the day, say around 2:30 or 3. I think she's so very overtired from the short napping. I haven't had luck extending the naps by leaving her in her crib for 15-20 mins after she wakes. Haven't tried resoothing her, but *strongly* suspect this won't work since she's very social and excited when I come in to her eventually. When I am able to get her down earlier, she is waking very early now (had been waking at 7p, now up to 5:30a). This seems to mess with even her not-so-great groove and make it worse by shifting her naps earlier and making for 5x 30 minute or shorter naps.. This morning I tried to push her to stay awake longer after the early wakeup but she was terribly overtired by the time I put her down and stayed awake for 1 hour in the crib before finally succumbing to a 40 minute nap and waking crying.
Questions-
At her age, would you use the early waketime as the start of her routine and fit in an extra cycle basically?
If I were to try to inch bedtime later in order to induce a later wakeup, she might be going 2 and 3 hours before bedtime from her last nap, and getting even more overtired. So I just have to live with an early wake?
If I try for a later nap, it is basically the same difficulty as the bedtime. Are you familiar with the problem of a baby just screaming toward the end of the day and not sleeping? If it's overtiredness, why doesn't getting her down early for bed for a few days seem to improve this? With my boys, I could do a 5 or 5:30 bedtime for 3 or 4 days and so many problems would be fixed. With her, I can't seem to get her down easily at that time without tons of crying first (and she's so easygoing the rest of the day!)
If I can't get longer naps, is it better to try to get a 5th short nap in and a later bedtime (like, I could use a carrier to get her to sleep), or is it smartest just to put her through this excessive crying to get to sleep early instead?? Maybe having her wake later in the morning is as valuable to her sleep as getting her down earlier?
Well, that's a lot of questions. And I'm very tired, so who knows if they're sensible :}
Thank you :)
als,
DeleteThis is what I do with early morning wake ups. So I would put her back down if you can. Try to ignore her for some time to see if she'll go back to sleep. Make sure hunger isn't an issue.
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/06/morning-wake-time-timing-morning-wake.html
There is a point where kids will start waking early if they go to bed too early. Some kids are much more sensitive to this than others, and some ages more sensitive than others. At this age, some kids still seem to do better with a later bedtime but very soon need an earlier one to sleep well. Try to slip in an extra nap early on if at all possible, even if she hasn't been up very long. Maybe you can try to adjust the naps (might not be at all possible) and waktimes earlier on in the day to work better with bedtime. Your best luck might be putting her down early and working hard to get her to go back to sleep when she wakes early the am, even if it means an extra feeding or maybe wake to sleep
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/02/wake-to-sleep.html
If you can get her to take a later nap with some help by you and she goes to sleep well at night and wakes up later in the morning, I'd probably do that if I was you. I think you have just as many negatives and pluses with either method so do what works best for the two of you.
I suggest at least trying some extending methods for the nap. A swing, offer a comfort item like a pacifier if she has one, try rocking (don't pay attention and maybe eventually she'll get that it isn't play time and will relax in your arms), trying going in before she wakes to put pressure on her back/tummy to help her through the sleep jolt, make sure the room is super dark and relatively quiet.
She may have the personality that resists sleep more than many. With kids like this, they seem to resist bedtime even more. This resistance often goes back and forth as they age. she may still be a bit fussy at night because of her age. She may need more than a few early bedtime to get over her over tiredness and maybe she won't get over it ever at bedtime if she has a waketime too long right before it. Some kids are so sensitive to being overtired. My oldest would cry and whine the rest of the day if he ever had a bad nap, regardless of how perfect the rest of his sleep normally was.
Some babies if they are overtired from a day are not great naps will cry all evening. It is usually more sensitive babies. I put them in a carrier and give them a pacifier if they take one. Does wonder and it allows you to do some of the things you have to do like prepare dinner or help with homework. As babies get older this fussy time should improve, especially if you can figure out a good sleep routine with nap lengths that works. Neither of my kid would take an evening nap by themselves once they were a handful of weeks old. With the oldest he would sleep the swing or in the car so I used these methods when applicable. With my youngest he pretty much never slept, but he was happy in a carrier so that is where he usually ended up. You have to do what works and make the most sense. Most kids don't seem to pick up on too many sleep props if you help them at this age when really necessary.
I have a 14 week old who only took 45 min naps, until 2 days ago, when they started being 30. At about 2 hrs of wake time, he's tired, so I have a ten min routine where I rock him a bit wrap him up and put him to bed in his crib (always). Sometimes he is drowsy but awake and sometimes he's already out. He is happy when waking. His temperment has changed a bit these two days to be more fussy/cranky and he is usually a really happy baby. I would like him to nap at least an hour for each of his daily four naps but going in at about 25 min has not allowed me to extend his naps as he just jerks wide awake. PU/PD won't work as he doesn't cry and he's too young for cio (for me). Is this just a phase, what can I possibly do to extend his naps? He still wakes up 2-4 times at night and has never slept through the night. The last couple of nights he has had trouble going back to sleep after his 4 am feeding (last night he was up at 4:45-6:15). He does have a bedtime routine and is always put to sleep drowsy but awake. I just don't think he'll ever nap well.
ReplyDeleterholgate,
DeleteThe short naps are a phase with some children. You have to wait them out. Or you can try a little cio when he is older or the techniques you already tried once again when he is older
His waketime seems a little long for his age, and that is if he were taking longer naps. So I would really consider overtiredness as a cause to his short naps and especially his new shorter naps. Often the sleep debt keeps adding up over time until you start to notice it (some kids show you rigth away, others won't show you until late).
If he falls asleep easily in your arms (seems like he does) then I would go in either right as he wakes or just prior and help him go back to sleep with shush-pat, rocking or a swing. Yes, act as a sleep prop. Most kids don't have issues in the long run from doing this as long as they can initially put themselves to sleep.
And he'll likely nap well one day. The fact that he can put himself to sleep sometimes is far above what many babies can do at this age. I know it is frustrating though.
Rachel
Hi Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI need some help! For the past few weeks, my son 6.5 months) has been all over the place with his sleeping. He had been waking up at 8:00AM, napping at 10,2, and going to bed for the night at 6:30. Things were going smoothly and he was falling asleep easily... and now, everything is a mess! His morning nap has been about 1.5 hours, and the second nap has been short (or ending super early), and he has been refusing to take a third nap. This puts us in a tough spot as his afternoon nap ends around 2:30/3:00. He has been going to sleep for the night around 5:00 (super early!) to compensate for his lack of day sleep. But, he wakes up early in the morning, thus throwing off our whole schedule. It has also happened where, since he has refused to take the third nap, he gets overtired, and has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep at night. Not sure how to compensate for this. His wakeful period is right around 2 hours (1.75 before first nap, 2 hrs for 2nd nap, if well rested he can go about 2.25-2.5 hours). For example, yesterday he woke up at 7:00, went down for first nap at 8:30, slept until 9:30, went down for his second nap at 11:30, slept until 1:00, and cried through his should-have-been third nap from 3-4. He was clearly tired; we bathed him, read books, nursed, and he was asleep by 4:45. He normally does not wake up after going to sleep for the night, though he did last night due to being overtired and the 3.75 hour wakeful period. I am concerned that if we attempt to keep him up for naps around 9 and 1 or 10/2 he will be so tired he will not sleep and the night waking will only get worse. I need advice regarding how to get him back to his normal schedule without him being so overtired he is unable to sleep at all. He does well with the morning nap but the afternoon nap has been more of a struggle- he seems to have a hard time falling asleep. I struggle between following the clock for his naps or following his subtle sleep cues- I feel as though I am unsure how to get him to sleep at the best times for him without totally getting him too tired to sleep at all! Any advice will be appreciated. Sorry if the thoughts are fragmented/confusing!
Karyn,
DeleteSee if you can pinpoint any changes that have occurred at this time. Any changes by you guys or changes in his development. I would initially thing that maybe he needed a longer waketime for his second and third naps, but he is getting that now so that doesn't seem to be the cause. I'm not really sure what is causing the change in sleep from what you have said above. But I would consider making that bedtime of the day a mini nap and then moving bedtime a bit later than you have been so morning wake up will be more normal and over tiredness won't be so bad. If he doesn't nap after 30 minutes of trying in the evening, you might want to get him up then try again when he seems tired (which will probably be pretty soon).
Consider decreasing waketime before that morning nap to see if it helps the rest of the day.
I would not work just with set nap times at this day (I know some people say to, but when babies aren't sleeping great, it seems to hurt more than it helps at this age imo). I would consider the normal nap time but also his waketime, his previous sleep (naps or night) and his sleep cues. Put him to bed early if he hasn't slept good previously or if he seems really tired. If he wakes an hour early, he may need to go down 30 minutes early.
Sorry to not have any more I can think of right now!
Rachel
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for having such a fantastic blog! I have found the information very helpful! I wanted to get your insight cause I have tried a lot of things and not much seems to be helping my almost 6 month old sleep better.
She is on a 3 1/2 hour schedule which is ewsw. She has the extra wake at the end because her naps are only 30 min long. She typically wakes up really happy after her 30 min nap. I have tried the wake to sleep and soothing her starting 15 min into her nap to try and get her past her sleep transition. She hasn't responded to those methods. Do they usually work right away or do you need to use them for awhile to see results? I also have let her cry it out after she wakes up and she will cry for a good hour, then I go in and get her up to feed. She is usually awake for 2 hours before going down for a nap. She gets a bit fussy and rubs her eyes to let me know she is ready for a nap.
She also wakes up about 4 times a night, I only nurse her one time about 5-6 hours after she has gone to bed. I soothe her back to sleep with my hand on her tummy and shushing (and a pacifier...a no no that I don't think I can give up cause she doesn't sleep well to begin with). I would appreciate any suggestions or insight! THANKS!!
Kelsey,
DeleteConsider seeing if you can get her back to sleep after a short nap with rocking or using a swing (if she isn't too big). See my nap extension post on why I'm ok with this.
At her age and with short naps, I'm guessing her sleep may improve with less waketime.
Wake to sleep can take several days (once again, I'll refer you to the post if you haven't read it to see more on this). Some babies will go back to sleep with the pat and shush while others will get upset quite a bit and not fall asleep. Often keeping this up will help them fall asleep more easily, but I think it may have just as much or more to do with them learning to fall asleep without being held in your arms etc as it has to do with you being there patting and shushing. You may have to keep going in and doing shush-pat for quite some time--weaning as baby gets better at sleeping on her own.
Make sure bedtime is very early. Like 13 hours before she wake in the morning. as she sleeps better, you can move it back later.
Good luck!
Rachel
Oh, if she is a bit addicted to the pacifier she may be waking because she needs that to make it through sleep transitions. So, while it will be harder at first, if this is the problem, sleep will probably improve after you drop the pacifier.
DeleteHi, I am at wits ends with my 7 week old. She has always been hard to put down for naps. She does this thing where she looks like she's hard asleep then within 2 seconds she's wide awake! I don't know if it is the startle reflex as I am holding her tightly when this happens. So it takes a long time to get her to sleep and then she is up, sometimes within 30 mins sometimes less.
ReplyDeleteAt 3 - 4 weeks she slept 1.5 hours naps which mad the 30 - 30 mins of putting her to sleep worth it. But now she is waking from some naps at 5, 15, 20, 30 mins. Her waketime is pretty short 1hour or so. I am so open to any suggestions!
We are not on any schedule but she wakes regularly between 7 and 8am. She also sleeps well at night waking at between 1 and 2 for a feed and 5 for a feed.
Thoughts? Longer WT (although I don't know if I can as she cries like crazy) or go even shorter than 1 hour WT?
Forgot to also mention, that I do try to extend her naps by going in and patting in her, this only works about 25% of the time. Other times I put her in the swing, again only works 25% of the time. She is feeding between 2- 3 hours. Mostly 2 hours, but occasionally she'd last to 3 hours.
DeleteLook over this post, Lee-Heidt
Deletehttp://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2010/02/top-sleep-tips-for-children.html
Consider swaddling and overstimulation and a good pre-sleep routine. She may need less waketimes, especially for the first nap, if she is not sleeping for naps. You have to consider all the time she is awake, even if she 'should be napping'. Is she growing well? Taking good feeds? Is she feeding to sleep and wanting to continue sucking while sleeping? IS the environment too stimulating? Maybe try holding her calming during her feed and then before her nap with no stimulation to see if it helps. Just snuggle her and that's all. She is probably pretty overtired and may need less stimulation for the moment while she tries to get more sleep. Work on reducing sleep props (rocking etc) to get her to fall asleep as she will likely continue to want these to continue sleeping.
Keep in mind that this is a rough age for many babies. Take a look at the wonder week post to given you an idea of some tough ages so you know what to expect.
Rachel
My 7 week old (born 3 weeks early) is getting overtired at the 1 hour mark and I cant get him down for a nap. If I let him cry it out, it goes on for 20 minutes at a voracious pace and I go to pick him up, calm him and start over. Then if he seems to be drifting off, I put him down and he may sleep 3 or 5 minutes and then up again. Even if he sleeps on me, he wakes after just a few minutes and I have to start the procedure all over again. And I am having such issues with the cry it out method since he takes 4 or 5 naps a day plus bed time. I'm actully getting to the point where I'm afraid of him waking because I know I will have to go thru this within an hour. What can I do??
ReplyDelete