The all too familiar question. Maybe you have been wondering this exact thing. It's about time I addressed it in a post instead of in multiple comments where you have to wait days to find out my answer. Not very fun when you are trying to get things started!
Here's my answer. Start with either Nights or Nights and Naps. If you start with both (which may or may not be best depending on your child and how over tiredness and total consistency affects him) then it is usually best to start with night followed by naps the next morning or whenever you've got nights tackled. If you think it will be a quick thing (like it was when I took away Jacob's pacifier) and will only last through naps, then I'd personally start there. I'd much rather have a day of bad naps than a night of bad sleeping!
Here's why I suggest doing things this way:
Additionally, make sure to start with bedtime if you are working with night wakings. Many children, once they get that bedtime down well, will start to reduce their night wakings all on their own in several days time.
What experience do you have with this? What has worked best for you?
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| Joshua, a few weeks old |
Here's my answer. Start with either Nights or Nights and Naps. If you start with both (which may or may not be best depending on your child and how over tiredness and total consistency affects him) then it is usually best to start with night followed by naps the next morning or whenever you've got nights tackled. If you think it will be a quick thing (like it was when I took away Jacob's pacifier) and will only last through naps, then I'd personally start there. I'd much rather have a day of bad naps than a night of bad sleeping!
Here's why I suggest doing things this way:
- First off, most parents struggle more with naps than night time sleep. Babies usually figure out how to sleep during the night before they figure out the day. This is why you'll hear more complaints from parents about naps than night sleep. Well, at least from those parents that are working towards good sleep both day and night for their child.
- There is a stronger drive to sleep during the night compared to the day (as long as the nights and days aren't switched). Your child will feel more tired at night and will {hopefully} give in to sleep more easily.
- Night sleep is more restorative than day sleep. In other words, you get more for your buck while sleeping at night compared to the day. So if you can, you want to get the good sleep going for you here.
- Night sleep is, obviously, a lot longer than naps so you get a huge chunk of time to work with. During the day you can only work at things so long before it is time to get baby up and feed etc. During the night you've got hours and hours to work with so you can stick with things until they work.
- Getting night sleep figured out before nap training will help rid your child of over tiredness which is a huge factor in bad napping. Sleep training for naps makes over tiredness and often short naps worse, so you can use all the great night sleep you can get (and early bedtimes too!).
Additionally, make sure to start with bedtime if you are working with night wakings. Many children, once they get that bedtime down well, will start to reduce their night wakings all on their own in several days time.
What experience do you have with this? What has worked best for you?
I have had an easier time with night sleep than naps with both my girls. This is great advice! The naps will come easier if you first get them in s good nightime rotine.
ReplyDeleteYeah! Thank you for validating what I said :) I mean, I've had experience and i've talked to a lot of people, but it is nice to get it validated when I post about it!
DeleteRachel
Great advise and reminder that you get more for your buck while night sleeping compared to day sleeping.
ReplyDelete"you get more for your buck while night sleeping compared to day sleeping"
DeleteI have probably drilled this into you head too many times, huh?!
Rachel
Thank you for linking to the Thursday Favorite Things blog hop linky party xo
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you for the linky katherine!
DeleteRachel,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thank you for providing such a great resource and being so generous with your time... By answering all of our questions and giving advice. I was wondering if you could help me trouble shoot my son's night sleep issue. My son is 4 1/2 months old. Recently, he started napping so well. He went from taking a few annoying 30 minute or shorter naps to taking 2 naps of about 1 1/2 hours and 1 30 min nap late in the day. He also just started going down for naps SO EASILY. I know part of the problem was that he used to nurse to sleep. I stopped that and started a simple but consistent nap routine and it has done wonders. Our days have been so much better for the past week or so! As night, he goes down so easily and falls asleep on his own in less than 10 min. His bedtime is 6:00...of his own doing. We tried to make it later and it was 8:30 when he was a newborn, but he shows signs of being tired and ready at 5:30 every night. We are very consistent with his bedtime routine. The problem is, he wakes about 4 or 5 hours after this and again every 2 hours or so all night. Then he wakes at 5am or so and is ready to play. Some nights, the waking even starts earlier at 8:30 or 9pm. We've let him cry a little, we wait, I've tried pu/pd and nothing helps. I've read that babies who can put themselves to sleep often start to sleep through the night on their own. Do you think the recent nap lengthening is a sign that maybe night sleep will soon evolve on its own also? Any thoughts? Thanks so much! I'm becoming so sleep deprived I can't think straight.
Emily H,
Delete"babies who can put themselves to sleep often start to sleep through the night on their own"--this is true, but it isn't uncommon for it to take a couple weeks to happen.
"Do you think the recent nap lengthening is a sign that maybe night sleep will soon evolve on its own also? " It may be, but sometimes night and naps can be pretty separate. That's great that you've got an early bedtime, that can do wonder with multiple night wakings. Look over his waketimes and see how they compare to the average, as well as his total sleep.
Is he getting a feeding at all at night? I wonder if he's got a growth spurt going on (or still needs one feed) and if he gets a feed then he'll stop having frequent wakings after.
I'd try wake to sleep for the 5 am waking (if other things dont't fix it) or some other ST method, like pu/pd (whatever method you prefer). You need to be consistent for several days though with whatever you try. just make sure to not give attention and play at this time. Give as little attention as possible to help him know 5 am is night, not day.
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteMy son's 4 weeks old, and all along I've been worried that I've been creating bad sleep associations and habits, while everyone told me that for the first 2-3 months, not to worry and do whatever works to get him to sleep.
What this has meant, so far, is usually nursing him to sleep or close to it, and mom or dad holding him as he sleeps (or sometimes at least until he's in a really deep sleep - then, if I'm lucky, I can lay him on a pillow on the couch next to me as I stay up all night watching). We haven't had much success getting him to sleep or nap in his pack n' play bassinet.
My method has been to nurse him until he's super drowsy - then I put him down, occasionally w/ a pacifier though he doesn't always want one. He's swaddled and I have white noise. I usually get about 20 minutes of sleep before he wakes up crying. Sometimes I can pick him up and console him, sometimes he's worked into a frenzy and takes a lot of soothing to calm down. I assume then he's overtired, because he only got a short sleep before waking.
I think part of the problem might be association - part might be location, as he'll sleep (if he's in a deep sleep at night) in our bed or on a soft pillow/blanket. But, he doesn't like to sleep in his bouncer, either. Same thing - about 20 minutes before he realizes he doesn't want to be there.
I don't know where to start at this young age - but I want him to be able to sleep without being in someone's arms! Dad and Mom are taking shifts - one in bed sleeping, the other one out in the living room holding baby. We need more sleep :)
Thanks so much!
I should say, my method for putting him down in his bassinet for a nap.
ReplyDeleteBethany,
DeleteAs you've found out, everyone has different opinons about what to do with kids. I try to avoid the sleep props, but sometimes I think their use is very helpful and needed. More about that here:
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2012/11/sleep-props-and-newborns.html
Start with working on things on these two posts, mainly the second one (the first isn't quite done yet) and read more about thing on the included links.
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2010/02/sleep-problems-by-age-newborn.html
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2013/01/how-to-set-stage-for-good-sleep-tear.html
Sounds like he's probably a bit overtired too. But many babies are, don't be hard on yourself about that one.
As for sleep location, it's a matter of safety. The bed/pillow is more cuddly for him (like a swaddle--swaddle if you are not doing that) but the flat mattress on his bed is safer. I know, not ideal how things like that work out. Safety isn't always convenient, that's for sure!
Best of luck!
Rachel