2/2/12

Support! Calling for some support!


Everyone, sometime or another needs a helping hand. And when you are a mom these times certainly increase!

There's pregnancy, which for some people, is just a step down from having the ebola virus. Me and Jacob almost didn't make it through my last
pregnancy. I wish I was exaggerating.

Then there's the postpartum and newborn period. Sleepless nights,colic, breastfeeding difficulties, insane hormones, babies that require your every attention. And I didn't even mention cleaning and cooking and shopping and looking after other children. Or sleep training!

The list goes on and it changes as your children grow. It varies a lot from person to person since children and life circumstances and personal abilities vary, but eventually, we all need a helping hand. We all need some support.

But why is asking for help so hard to do?

If you're anyting like me, you don't like to ask for or even accept help. My dad once told me that one of the hardest lesssons he ever had to learn was to humble himself enough to gratefully accept help from others. I think this is my issue. I don't like to admit to myself and others that I can't do everything on my own. I'd rather sit back, overwhelmed beyond belief, barely able to keep up with my own breathing, nevermind everyting else.

Pretty stupid. And prideful.
I'm working on it.

In the past most moms used to have much more of a support network. When we had a baby we weren't expected to get up the next day and start doing the million things that need to be done without taking some time to rest ourselves and take care of our babies.

Today things are different. We somehow expect ourselves to do everyting or we think we are weak and incapable. We look around at everone else and see all that they are doing, assume they are having an easy time at it (BIG lie) and try to do just as much, or more. We are all in a race against each other and slowly driving ourselves to exhaustion or insanity or, well, you get my point. It is pretty stupid, really. When I think of it this way it is even a little embarassing.

Just think about it. When you help out a friend or neighbor or perfect stranger are you thinking badly about them? Do you think they are weak and incapable? I doubt it. They will not think lesser of you for asking for help either.

Me and my twin sister Ruth when she got married

Me, Ruth, Joshua and Ruth's first baby Marcus.

Offering Support
Even more important than receiving support and help from others is giving it. We all know that it is more important to give than receive. We can help others in so many ways. Just look around and you will see multiples ways you can help. Think about the times you have needed help and try to offer help to others at these times. There are so many things we can do, big and small. Even a smile can be all it takes to change someones day.

We even benefit from all this help we offer. Not only do we feel incredibly good, but I am sure we eventually receive blessings in one form or another. I just got back from a 2 week visit with my twin sister and her newborn. I had a great time spending time with her family but I also worked my butt off and stayed up many a nights taking care of the baby. It was a lot of work, yes, but every time I do this I also get more expereince with babies and grow in knowledge.You can see the cutie above :)

Sometimes we are hesitant to help others because of feelings of resentment or other issues. Where were others when we needed help? Why do we always feel like we are the only ones helping out? I get what you saying. But I still think you should help. Working on the 'you owe me', 'I owe you' system' is rarely helpful. You get just as much out of helping as other people do. And I believe we should try to do the best we can despite what others are doing. You never know, maybe others will see your example and follow it.
Often, the answer to our prayer does not come while we're on our knees but while we're on our feet serving the Lord and serving those around us.
By becoming the answer to someone's prayer, we often find the answer to our own.
--Diet F Uchtdorf 

8 comments :

  1. Great post and great thoughts, Rachel! It is a perfect reminder to me right now in this stage of life! Thanks, and it was wonderful to see you this past week, by the way! :)

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  2. It was great to see you too Rachel! I'll see you later in the summer.

    Rachel

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  3. what beautiful pics! and what a great post! can u imagine, Rachel? many of my friends are now asking me for sleep help?!? =) thanks for this website and all your help!

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  4. hunniebee,
    Ahh, I'm so glad things have improved so much for you! Doesn't life feel a little more liveable now :) You are so welcoem for the help...I'm so glad it was helpful!

    Rachel

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  5. This is still hard for me and my youngest is two :) lucky emerald sent me. (ABH) Love your pics!

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    1. Mammanatty,
      I think it is hard for most of us and probably will be until the day we die! Glad you like the pics--they are fun for me to look at . I don't feel like I look like my twin too much, but my son thought I was her in the pictures above so I guess I do look a lot like her!

      Rachel

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  6. I am so thankful I stumbled on this website. My sweet boy is 8 months old and due to the horrible sleep associations I have given him, we are up hourly. I am exhausted and overwhelmed without the first clue where to begin but your blog has given me some hope. Thank you!

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    1. That is great that this site has helped you CHolder. Just take it one step at a time. Those sleep associates can end up being tough when some kids get older. Don't be too tough on yourself though. You couldn't have known he (and you) would end up struggling so much when he got a bit older.

      Rachel

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