5/18/09

Sleep Training- BabyWise


The key to BabyWise is starting with a eat/activity/nap routine and Parent-Directed Feedings (PDF) from the beginning as well as having appropriate waketimes, sleep time routines (see pre-sleep routine) and avoiding bad sleep props/associations. BabyWise is also a big advocate for having your baby sleep in his own bed by himself. Once again, ideally you would start doing all the above mentioned things when baby
comes home from the hospital. They can certainly be started later but it will be a bit harder to do so and baby may resist your guidance more.

When baby cries first stop and listen. Why do you think he is crying (try to learn his cries if possible) and what should you do? Listen, think, then act. You may do nothing or you may need to intervene, even if that means simply going in to baby for a moment to give him some reassurance.

BabyWise says that "there may be a brief period of fussing or crying when you put the baby down for a nap" (BabyWise, p. 131) as your baby settles. It states that "crying for 15-20 minutes is not going to hurt your baby physically or emotionally" (BabyWise, p. 131) and that if your baby "cries longer than fifteen minutes, check on [your] baby"(BabyWise, p.148). The "future trade-off will be a baby who goes down for a nap without fussing and wakes up cooing" (BabyWise, p. 131).

The exact way to sleep train a baby isn't specifically explained in BabyWise but is up to you to decide with the information and guidance it gives you. Although it emphasizes that a little crying will not hurt your baby, it does not give you an exact period of time to to let your child cry with naps or at night like Ferber and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It also doesn't exactly explain how you should reassure your baby if you choose to do so although it does mention that checking on your baby without him seeing you is often a good way to do this but that you might need to do more than this such as physically hold him or pat him. Often how you intervene depends on your baby. Some babies can handle intervention more than others meaning that for some it helps, and for others it seems to make matters worse. Note that your baby crying more right after you intervene does not necessarily mean intervening doesn't work for your child. This is a common reaction and if you child falls asleep soon after then it is no problem, but if this seems to make your child take longer to fall asleep then obviously it is not helping.

However you decide to sleep train using the suggestions in BabyWise make sure you choose a method that you are comfortable with and remember that if you follow the BabyWise eat/activity/sleep routine, keep appropriate waketimes and start as you mean to go you will hopefully avoid most if not all crying and undesired sleep habits.


49 comments :

  1. Excellent summary, Rachel. Good work!

    -Valerie

    ReplyDelete
  2. Our newborn baby is almost 3 weeks old and we have been letting her sleep in her my little lamb swing by our bed at night. We tried the pack and play at first but she seems to sleep much better in the swing. Is this considered a prop and will it make it difficult for her to move to her crib?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous,
    I suppose it could be considered to be a sleep prop. She may have a little bit of a problem transfering to a flat surface, but it probably won't be too bad. Most likely she is finding comfort in the swing because it kind of snuggles her body. Do you swaddle? If you do, this will probably help her sleep flat, and it will probably help her when she transfers to a flat surface.

    Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. It I had to choose between having her sleep there and sleeping well or sleeping in a pack and play and sleeping badly, I'd choose the swing right now. Sure it might take a little time to transition her, but most likely it won't be too bad. It would probably be a good idea to have her sleep on a flat surface sometimes though (swaddled as I suggested). Some people use sleep positioners that do a similar thing that the swing is doing (keeping her body all snuggled). Most babies seem to transition out of these really well.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My 6 week old is starting to sleep through the night and according to Babywise, you are not supposed to let them sleep over 5 hours without feeding them, correct?! So I was wondering when it is ok to start stretching the 5 hour mark. Last night she slept from 10 to 4 and when I finally decided it had been long enough and tried to feed her... she really had no interest. She wanted to keep sleeping and only at a couple minutes on each side. I don't want to force her to eat, but don't want to do something detrimental to her.

    Any advice? Or wise words?

    Thanks so much!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Indie's mom-
    Most likely, you are fine to let your daughter sleep longer than 5 hours. There are a few things that you need to monitor. 1)The first is weight. Is she at least 9 lbs? I've heard different things from different people/pediatricians. Some say a 9 lb baby can go 12 hours at night, some say you need to wait until 10 lbs for a baby to go 8 hours. I'd go by what your pediatrician says since he is the one monitoring your baby. 2) How is your baby's weight gain? This needs to be good if you are going to let baby sleep longer. You can monitor this by how much she eats during the day (not always related to weight gain, but probably is), her wet/dirty diapers and by actually weighing her. 3) How is your supply if you are breastfeeding? Some people can go long periods of time early on and be fine in regards to milk supply, others can never go extremely long, even when their baby is 12 months old. With my last child, I was fine going 12 hours until I went to a 4 hours schedule. Then I had to start pumping at night before going to bed to keep up my supply.

    So that is my list of things to think about when letting your child sleep longer. That's what comes to mind right now at least :) I would mainly check with your pediatrician if you have concerns. I had a different pediatrician with my son Jacob (now 2 months) than I had with my son Joshua. My first pediatrician said that my son Joshua could sleep up to 5 hours when he was 2 weeks old. My new pediatrician said that my son Jacob could sleep as long as he wanted to at his 2 week appointment and even encouraged me to gently help him go 12 hours between feeds at night when he was only 2 months old. They were both healthy boys and around the same weight. Just different pediatricians.

    ReplyDelete
  6. First off thanks for all your posts. Second off I need advice. My daughter is 12 months old. I have been doing babywise since birth, with some exceptions due to slow weight gain and being 6 weeks early. My daughter was sleeping well up until a couple months ago we traveled, had visitors, etc and she got off track. Since then we have cio but it seems her problems all stem from separation anxiety. She now cio for every nap and cries less than 15 min, but bedtime is a different story. When does this end? She didn't used to cry at all. She also wakes in the night (I stopped night feedings last week) and when we calm her and lay her down she checks every minute or so that we are still there until she is completely out. Second question, lately when my baby cries extra long for nap I check on her and she has pooped, I change her and redo her prenap routine and she screams the whole time cuz she knows she is going to sleep and is now extra tired. I am afraid she will cry the whole nap if I just put her down, do I do it anyway? I need her to nap as much as she does.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Celia,
    Kids often go through phases where they will stop crying then start up again (usually just a little). It often has to do with developmental phases. Yours likely has to do with that and traveling. Some kids never cry past three months of age. Some will cry before every nap until they are a couple years old, some on and off until this time. I can't really say when it will end because every child is different. It will end sooner (and very unlikely be more than a few minutes worth) if you are consistent with your methods.

    Make sure she has some sort of lovey to sleep with. If she hasn't chosen one, you choose one for her and make she always has it during sleep times. If you give it during a poopie diaper change at nap time, it often helps kids be calmer. I would probably redo the nap routine like you are doing and then get out of there. If she will calm easily by you staying for a little longer (only a little, not too long or you are giving the extra attention she seeks and reinforcing the difficultly with sleeping) then do that. IF not, then do not stay too long or you will make things harder in the long run. Yes, she may get overtired, but she is older now and should be able to handle it better. Plus, as I said, if you stay she will just get worse and do things to make you come more often or stay longer and sleep will worsen.

    Make sure the wake time is right for bedtime. Some need a bit longer at this time and don't get it (because parents worry so much about overtiring them) and will cry a bit because of that. Obviously you need to be careful of over tiredness too because it can cause the same problem. Many kids will cry hard at bedtime and not during the day because they can sense the difference and longer separation about to occur here (at least that is my idea about why they do this--they obviously know it is different than a nap and some are not happy about this!).

    "She also wakes in the night (I stopped night feedings last week) and when we calm her and lay her down she checks every minute or so that we are still there until she is completely out."
    By doing this you have taught her to not sleep without your presence. So if you want things to improve you need to teach her to sleep without your presence. She will protest of course. But she isn't going to suddenly not want you there at this age if you have been there so you have to do some kind of action. How you do this is up to you. You can do straight cio, cio with checks, use some of the baby whisperer techniques etc. I know it is hard when you are on trips to keep things normal. It is good to try to keep them normal, but living situations etc, don't always make that possible. It is important to continue doing things like you previously did when you get home or asap, even if that means you have to redo some sleep training to get there. Many kids will need some redo of sleep training the first year or two of life. Often it isn't too severe, just a little help. But if you let things get out of hand sleep training might end up being a big hard deal all over again.

    Good luck!
    Rachel

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you so much! She is sleeping so much better! We are still working on the pooping during a nap issue. I always give her time to resettle herself during a nap if she wakes early, and sometimes that seems to make things worse. I will try to redo the nap routine and leave her. Thanks for all your helpful tips. Love your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Celia,
    With resettling, sometimes it makes things worse for baby if you don't leave them there until they become happy. But if you were to do that, you would need to stick with it. Sometimes it goes away over time though and they will start waking happy more often without doing anything.

    With my oldest, going in real quick and holding him for a few seconds always did the trick. Often this is no no advice, but if it works it work. Babies are so different.

    Glad you found the blog useful!

    Rachel

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm so happy to have found your blog. I have sent a few links to your posts to my sis, who has a new baby at home too. Thank you so much! I love your non judgmental approach.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Cheyenne,
    I'm so glad you like the blog. Hopefully it will help your sister out a bit. I'm glad you find me non judgmental. I try to be, but it can be a bit tough with this subject when no many people have such different opinions. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells sometimes trying to not hurt people's feelings. I guess that is the nature of a blog like that is somewhat general in regards to sleep.

    Rachel

    ReplyDelete
  12. My poor baby won't sleep during the day at all. My fiance can get her to take at most 2- 30 minutes naps if she sleeps on him. She has such bags under her eyes and cries so much it breaks my heart. She just turned 4 months and sleeps fine at night.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Karl,
    My guess is that she is getting in such an overtired cycle that she can't sleep. But it is hard to really know what's going on without seeing the whole pictures. Does she have a good presleep routine? Is there a good sleep environment? Is there any sort daily routine? Likely she can handle 1.5 hours give or take some time for waketime right now before needing a nap. Take a look at the waketime posts and the short nap posts (and the posts imbedded in those--they are a different color text- for some guidance). When is here bedtime? I would make it super early in your situation to help get over some of the overtiredness. But an early bedtime will only do so much at this age, she needs her naps to get through the day. You may need to do some sort of sleep training, yes, even though she sleeps at night. If she will only sleep with a prop during the day she may be resisting sleep to play or for your company etc.

    Rachel

    ReplyDelete
  14. Errica
    I need help transitioning from a nap nanny to laying flat in a crib. My little one has severe reflux & needed a 45 degree elevation. She is finally growing out of the reflux & need her to sleep in her crib. Any suggestions

    ReplyDelete
  15. hi there!, just wondering what you think of dream feeds? im scared im going to stuff up my babies routine.hes almost 12 weeks and wakes every 4 hours at night. thanks :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. sattie,
    I have three dream feed posts (one to come next week). Here is one of them...

    http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2011/12/dreamfeed-all-you-ever-wanted-to-know.html

    ReplyDelete
  17. Errica,
    There isn't tons you can do except for transition her straight to her crib. You can stay with her to help her go to sleep and get used to the situation. You can then move father from her or do some form of sleep training at this time. Or you can move her to her crib and do the sleep training right away.

    Good luck!
    Rachel

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks for this blog. Have a question re my newborn/5 week old. He eats at 7 and then sleeps great until his dream feed at 11. He sleeps well until about 3:30 or 4 am and then wakes up. We were able to go in, put his pacifier back and he'd go back down until 6:30 am or soB. Now he is waking nearly every hour from 3:30 onward, crying and needing to be re-pacifierred until its time for his first feeding. He is over 11 lbs and we know he doesn't need to eat (pediatrician confirmed ok to let him sleep). We have and do let him CIO with his binkie in and he is able to resettle - is just up again shortly. Any ideas? We're wondering if we just need to go cold Rukeyser w first wake up and no binkie reapplication. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jeadelma,
    At 5 weeks, if he is getting a feed at 11 and wakes at 3:30 ish and continues to wake, I would consider that he is hungry and wants a feed. Some babies, even when hungry, will go back to sleep but awake relatively soon after still wanting that feed. Even if he is technically "big enough and old enough" to go that long, he may not be able to very easily. Weight and age are only two of the factors involved. He is doing much better with sleep than most babies his age. MUCH better. I know you are still tired, but I want to offer you that encouragement. I would feed and see what happens. If, after a few nights (because he may be in the habit of waking a bit bc of what has been going on recently) he sleep after the feeding, then you have your answer about what has been going on. If he keeps waking every hour, then maybe it is pacifier related. As for that, I would consider waiting it out a bit longer. Once many babies get used to sleeping through a certain time, they often do it without the pacifier being reinserted. If he doesn't, you can consider no binkie reinsertion.

    Rachel

    ReplyDelete
  20. HI there! I am a first time mom who has several Babywise moms around me for support. BUT when I brought this problem to them, they have all been stumped. I'm hoping you can help! My daughter is 10 weeks old. She has been a natural sleeper from the beginning. She is now sleeping 10 hours at night (YAY!). Her naps during the day are the struggle. After about 1 hour of wake time (feeding and playing) she shows that she is tired and I put her down for a nap. She has and will easily go down for naps. She was sleeping 2.5 hours straight with no problem. About 3 weeks ago, she began waking/crying 1 hour into every single nap. I can almost set my timer to it. At first, I thought it was the 45 min intruder, but I would go to feed her and after 5 minutes she would fall asleep at the breast. Now I will let her cry for about 15 min. Sometimes she settles down and will go back to sleep on her own. But other times it takes a pacifier or rocking her to get her to settle down. Can anyone out there help me or give advise?

    Emily

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Emily Bridgman,
      Sorry for the late reply, your comment got marked as spam for some reason.

      It sounds lie the 45 intruder but not due to hunger, just due to developmental changes. She no longer can get herself through the first sleep cycle. This can start from birth or often pops up sometime within the first few months. Take a look at the extending nap post. I think leaving her for a few minutes to go back to sleep on her own and/or helping her go back to sleep are good options at this age. The naps often lengthen out again as baby gets older. Often around 6 months, sometimes much longer. CIO may or may not end up being needed.

      Rachel

      Delete
  21. I have a question. My baby is almost 7 weeks old in a couple days and we have been doing this routine at night. She wakes up from a nap around 6 or 7 and I breastfeed her. Then she stays awake and I'll feed her again around 7 or 8 depending. Then give her a bath. My husband will give her 5 ounces of pumped milk around 9 930. She stays awake for about an hour or so then falls asleep on her own. She then sleeps for about 7-8 hours! Is this too much? Also will that affect my supply seeing as how I usually go 10 hours without feeding her. But that is how I pump my 5 ounces that she eats later. Is this ok? Oh also she weighs around 10 pounds

    ReplyDelete
  22. Tangledhair,
    You will have to rely upon her health and growth and what your pediatrician says to determine if She is sleeping too long. Most likely she should be fine.

    As for your milk supply, that is something you will have to monitor. Every mom is different. You may want to consider one extra pumping session just in case for a while longer. I was fine going that long at that age but many moms aren't.

    ReplyDelete
  23. My little girl is only 8 days old...
    She will ONLY sleep if she falls asleep at the breast, then is tightly held to my chest for 15-20 minutes then really carefully laid in her bassinet. Even then about 30% of the time she will wake up and we'll have to start all over again. SHe will usually sleep for 2 hours, although sometimes only 15 minutes or 45 minutes. She usually feeds for over an hour... When we add changing her, waking her up from falling asleep at the breast, etc it is always about 2 hours of awake time.
    She has 10+ yellow poos a day and plenty of wet nappies so we're not really worried about her not being fed enough. A lot of the time when we lay her down after being upright at the chest for 15-20 minutes she'll either throw up or need to do a big poo and start crying again and we are not able to settle her without the breast. We tried to let her CIO for 10 minutes yesterday but she became so worked up and not settled down....
    Help please!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ella,
      IF you are trying to set some sort of e/w/s routine, I would keep working on trying to keep her awake during her feeds. Even without the ews routine, it will keep you from feeling like you are feeding her 50% of the day and it will help spread out her feeds day and night (usually, the occasional baby will eat all day and go long at night). Maybe this isn't a bit deal to you, but I'm guessing you are feeling pretty worn out and would prefer less time. THis post has some ideas.http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2010/02/sleepy-newborns-tips-to-keep-baby-awake.html

      So she isn't actually awake for two hour at a time since there is some sleep in there on and off (making it hard to actually tell what her real waketime is).

      I suggest taking a look at the top sleep post for some ideas on sleep at this age. Keep in mind that she is super young, used to sleeping in your tight womb (which is one reason swaddling is suggested) and is still adjusting to life outside the womb without continually being fed etc. A lot will change soon with her.

      Some babies will cry when they poop. It isn't actually hurting them under normal circumstances but the sensation is upsetting and new to them.

      You may need to have her sleep elevated if she keeps spitting up but if it is a small amount I probably wouldn't worry too much about it. Maybe burp more and don't do it too vigorously. If she is spitting up a lot, I'd talk to this with your doctor. Overfeeding may have something to do with this which I see more with at this age when the baby is overtired and fussy and eating aggressively or quickly or if you have an over supply or milk or fast letdown (baby swallows more air) Reflux would probably be a problem (if ever) at a later age with most babies.

      I encourage you to keep working on soothing her in multiply ways. This post may help:
      http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2012/04/5-ss-key-to-calming-your-babys-crying.html

      Delete
  24. Hi,

    Just wondering if i could have some advice. I have a 5 week old girl and i have been following babywise since she came home from the hospital. She is on a 3 hourly routine and i breastfeed which has been going fine with a waketime that i have tried different times such as an hour then reducing to 45min as babywise instruct to see if it makes any difference but she struggles with her day naps. She knows she is going down for a nap when i start wrapping her and she will start to cry which will continue when placed in her cot. She really seems to dislike the cot. I let her CIO and she will usually settle after around 15 mins but then she will wake continually through her nap. Sometimes in 30-45 min increments and on bad days every 15mins. Such a light sleeper! It can be hard to resettle her and i will either pat her, give her a pacifier or briefly hold and check she doesnt have wind and place back down. She will sleep pretty well at night and i give her her dreamfeed at 11pm and then let her wake me naturally which is pretty much at the 4.5 or 5 hourly mark with no problems, I started doing this 5 days ago. Her morning feed for the day is at 8am.
    She has always been a gassy baby and is on Infacol and Infants Friend to treat but it never bothered her until she was 4 weeks old and seemed to become more "aware" of what was going on in her body so this has compounded the problem. This is driving me crazy as i feel she is not getting enough good deep sleeps and the overtiredness gets worse and it is also stressing me out! I would have thought at 5 weeks she would be really getting into a good nap routine by now?
    The only way she will have a good deep sleep for the full two hours of her nap is if she is pushed in the pram around the neighborhood or if she sleeps with me (rarely) which i hate as i dont want to create sleep props and bad habits.
    Thank you for any advice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jill Stevenson,
      You may want to try calming her a bit more until slightly drowsy before putting her in her bed to see if it helps her settle easier.

      If babies this age aren't napping well after trying to fall asleep for a short time, I will help them nap so they don't get overtired and the problem compounds over and over. So if she takes a shot nap then wakes up and has fitful sleep (which may be her actually staying awake the whole time but crying on and off--maybe get a video monitor and watch if you haven't already) from then on, you might want to help her sleep from then on. Yes, a prop, but at this age there isn't a huge option besides continual bad sleep with many babies. Some do ok with begin overtired and improved, many do not though. Keep observing waketimes. See my short nap and extending nap posts if you haven' t already. 5 weeks isn't very old to still not be sleeping great, unfortunately. It takes quite a bit longer for many babies to sleep better, particularly longer for naps. Most seem to improve a lot by 3-4 months. I know, a long way to wait which is why I suggest trying your best to get her to sleep well on her own but doing what you must after that point to ensure she gets some rest.

      Delete
  25. Hi,
    We have been following the Babywise method since our daughter was 5-6 weeks and it works well for us. We have a 2,5-3,5 schedule, working well for us, resulting in about 7-8 feds during a 24 hour period, (night time fed included)

    Our daughter is almost 10 weeks and should be able to sleep full nights according to the book. However she still wakes up once during the night to be fed. She has never slept more than 5-6 hours during the night without the need for food.

    Do you have any advice on how we can move forward to have full nights of sleep?

    Thanks in advance from a Swedish follower

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Test,
      The main thing that will help you the most at this age is time. Things usually extend out very soon. I also will try to wait until baby fully wakes at night to give a feed and maybe a minute longer (in case she goes right back to sleep) and/or give a pacifier etc right when she wakes to see if I can help her go right back to sleep and extend the feed (usually have to do this from a few nights to several nights before she stops waking). Good luck!

      Rachel

      Delete
    2. Thanks! Funny to say that she slept all night for the first time ever today

      I forgot, your blog is awesome. I have had very much help reading many of your old posts.

      It's admirable that you have the time and will to help others, not only by writing, but also answering peoples questions

      Delete
    3. Test,
      That is great to hear that she slept so well last night! Doesn't it feel good to get some extra sleep yoruself. Of course, you probably kept waking up when she used to huh. Funny how that works. I'm so glad you like the blog!

      Rachel

      Delete
  26. Hi! My 10 week old was sleeping long stretches of 5-8 hours at night and we are painfully regressing to every 3 hours. And when she wakes I definitely think she's not hungry because they're not good feeds and she falls asleep. Also we have a bedtime routine and she would only cry 10-15 then sleep but now is fighting bedtime. Any suggestions?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenn,
      Look at the above comment for some pointers on night sleep. if she is healhty, she should be able to do three hours. I'd work slowly on holding off on feeds, kind of like in the core night method
      http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/08/core-night.html

      look over waketimes to see if they help the crying. Also look over wonder weeks posts in index.
      Here is a bedtime post too
      http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/03/bedtime-battles.html

      Rachel

      Delete
  27. Please help ! My baby is 5 months old today and for the passed week maybe more she has been waking at 1.30 -2 am and will either take two hours to go back to sleep or go back to sleep and wake in an hour and then every hour until 6am. I am following TBW so introduced easy pretty much from day on. She has never slept in our bed and has slept in her own cot and room from day one. I have checked the following - offered her milk? Hungry.... She may drink 30ml and no more or else not drink at all.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Sorry rest of story here. - offered her water. Thirsty. She may take a sip or two and no more...... - hot? Now this is the hard question. I live in Mauritius and her room averages 24 degrees. She sleeps in a ,5 tog sleeping bag. So I have been putting her in a long sleeve bottomless baby grow . She is sweating on her back when I go in to settle her but her head a

    ReplyDelete
  29. Sorry, my iPad keeps freezing. Her head is not sweaty.... What do u moms dress ur baby in to sleep in similar weather? I am all out of options as to why she is waking :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kimbo,
      24 is a little bit warm for some babies. I'd probably do cotton pj's and nothing else. BUT you have to evaluate how she is since babies differ. If she's sweaty on the neck and 5 months old, I'd guess she may be a bit warm. IF she's awake and fussy for a few minutes before you go in to her, that may be why she is sweaty on the neck. How does she feel if you check on her before you go to sleep at night?

      As for the sudden change and she isn't eating much, I'd guess it is a wonder week or illness or teething or something like that. My guess is that it will pass on its own if you don't give too much attention to it. Is it still going on? When it first started I might help baby go right back to sleep unless it seemed to be making things worse. At this point if it is still going on I'd consider evaluating her bedtime hour, evaluate her diet if you've added solids, consider giving her as little attention as possible (unless you feel something is truly wrong and she isn't just up wanting to play around then), consider wake to sleep.

      Best,
      Rachel

      Delete
  30. My daughter is 7 weeks old. I'm a first time parent and I have been breastfeeding since she was born. Because of the high demand for the breast in the early weeks co-sleeping seemed like the easiest way to satisfy my daughters needs and allow my husband to sleep for work. Now we are trying to teach her to sleep in her crib. We don't really have a routine set for her because she's 7 weeks. You can't give nightly baths just yet and she naps during the day when she wants. I don't know really know what to do how to help the situation. Night 1 wasn't much of a success she cried and wouldn't sleep until she was next to me. We swaddled her and gave her the pacifier. Any suggestions would be great. I just want her to know tht Ill always be there for her when she needs me but I know she needs to learn to self soothe too

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know the "books" say not to wash every night so don't use the soap. I was so heartbroken when I first read that I couldn't wash every night because it was such a nice routine I did with my first daughter and it helped her so much to calm down. I talked with many mothers who wash their babies every night with just warm water so as not to dry out the skin. Needless to say my 8 week old is now on a nightly warm soak with momma in the tub for some down time and skin to skin contact. I sing a lullaby and love on her and ssshhh her and tell her good night audrey mommy loves you. I have been doing it for many weeks now and her skin is fine!!!! And, she has sensitive skin too. Try it for a couple nights and if u notice her skin is getting a little dry even from just water then you might not be able to use it as a night time ritual but let me tell you its awesome and we love it. HOpe it goes well for you.

      Delete
  31. My daughter is 8wks.For the past couple nights she has been going to sleep and then within 30-45 minutes wakes up crying. We give her about 5 min to make sure she doesn't resettle but she usually needs to be picked back up. she doesn't need to burp, she's been fed, she's clean and when held she immediately gets back to sleep but it takes us a good while to get her to go back to a deep sleep. usually after this she will sleep through the night (4am) for feed then up at 9am. her bedtime is usually 8:30 or 9 but i have been trying to get her to sleep earlier because she is exhausted and closing her eyes. what can i do? the room is dark she is swaddled very good, white noise is on. she sleeps in her swing due to some reflux. any suggestions?

    ReplyDelete
  32. I could really use some help. I'm a 2nd time Baby Wise mom and it worked great for my son who slept 12 hours by 10 weeks. I have been following it with my daughter who is 15 weeks old and I'm not seeing the same results. She goes to bed after her 6:30 feeding and then we dream feed her at 10 pm. She is all over the place...some nights (not often) she will sleep through to 6:30 am (when her day starts), other nights she starts crying at 3:30 am. We let her CIO and she will settle and go back to sleep but usually wake up at least once or twice crying at night. She doesn't seem to be hungry since she settles as soon as she hears me come into the room (and then smiles at me from her crib). Plus she isn't ravenous at her morning feeding. It's like she just wants the company!!! I don't know what to change!

    ReplyDelete
  33. I have a 5 month old little boy who slept amazing in his crib up until about a month ago. Now he will wake up between 3-4 times a night. Usually he falls back asleep with a pacifier or brief rocking and only eats (breastfeeds) once a night. However, in the last couple nights he has been waking up and fussing about every 10min in the initial 1-2hrs of sleep. I have tried swaddling, lying on his tummy, white noise lullabies, pacifier, and side sleeping but nothing helps. He finally falls asleep and stays asleep but after going in and rocking him about 4 times. Help!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lacey,
      You've reached an age where a lot changes with sleep. Kids start to notice their environment more and get distracted by it, their sleep cycles change a bit and they often start to want mom and dad more than they used to. Keep up the good routine and sleep habits--they'll always help. It sounds like you'll need to remove yourself as a prop to reduce those night wakings. I know they're just at the beginning of the night, but that isn't too uncommon to have them happen then.

      Delete
  34. Rachel, you have so many comments on this post! I was searching your blog to see if you have any posts from babywise talking about establishing their bed time. My babies are doing pretty well at night, but just wanted to see if there were any other tips in this book about it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sharon,
      Babywise doesn't give tons of information about how to establish their bedtime that you don't already do, but we'll talk about it tomorrow when I come over :)

      Rachel

      Delete
  35. Hi Rachel,
    Firstly thank you for all of the wonderful advice you have on your site!

    I have read all of the posts, but seem to have a different problem. My baby is 5 weeks old and naps perfectly throughout the day for 1.5-2 hour segments. She wakes almost always at the 3 hour mark for her next feed, with odd exceptions.
    My problem is that she is a big baby (this seems important on other posts), and will not sleep beyond her 2 hour limit even at night, and often sleeps worse at night especially after her 3/4 am feed.
    I have been following PDF, babywise since her hospital and I know how well it worked to get my nephews to sleep thru by week 7, but I feel unless I can get her sleeping longer at night as the book says we will never get there.
    Is there something I am not doing right that means she will not sleep any longer at night yet?
    Thank you any advice would be wonderful, I keep re-reading unsure of what I have done wrong!
    Thank you
    Shannon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sullivan,
      Give me an update of where you are at now and I'll try to get to you asap if you still need help.

      Rachel

      Delete
  36. Thank you for the blog and everyone's posts, such a wonderful resource.

    I'm a new mom to a 7 week old! I have been doing BW since bringing her home from the hospital and have had wonderful success at night. She begins her nighttime routine at 7 pm, eats, bathes, and then we swaddle her and put her down, she puts herself to sleep. She then has a 10 p.m dreamfeed and we let her sleep, she wakes at 330 to eat and then right back down until 7 a.m.

    Our (BIG) problem is daytime napping. She will not sleep more than 45 minutes. I try to minimize her waketime and rock her to sleep but 45 minutes to the dot she's awake. Some naps she's peaceful in her crib but never goes back to sleep, which means she's awake the hour before her next feeding which in turn messes up her feed, wake, sleep cycle. Other times after 45 minutes she screams and cries and can't be soothed to get back to sleep. I try to not pick her up but instead soothe her in the crib, but it doesn't work. She rarely goes back to sleep.

    I feel like she is feeding well at her feedings, she usually get 10-15 minutes on each breast then 3 oz of formula in a bottle.

    This has been happening for several weeks and I'm losing hope! I know it's important for her to sleep at least 1.5-2 hours between feedings but she is just not having it!

    I would really appreciate any insight from any of you regarding this dilemna!

    Thank you so much ahead of time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Paola and Wes,
      Take a look at the short nap post and the extending nap post if you haven't already. At this age, some babies will not take a longer nap no matter what in which case you may have to reorganize the ews routine. A lot of babies do well with some help getting back to sleep at this age and eventually figure it out on their own as they get a bit older.

      Rachel

      Delete