The key to BabyWise is starting with a eat/activity/nap routine and
Parent-Directed Feedings (PDF) from the beginning as well as having appropriate waketimes, sleep time routines (see pre-sleep routine) and avoiding bad sleep props/associations. BabyWise is also a big advocate for having your baby sleep in his own bed by himself. Once again, ideally you would start doing all the above mentioned things when baby comes home from the hospital. They can certainly be started later but it will be a bit harder to do so and baby may resist your guidance more.
When baby cries first stop and listen. Why do you think he is crying (try to learn his cries if possible) and what should you do? Listen, think, then act. You may do nothing or you may need to intervene, even if that means simply going in to baby for a moment to give him some reassurance.
BabyWise says that "there may be a brief period of fussing or crying when you put the baby down for a nap" (BabyWise, p. 131) as your baby settles. It states that "crying for 15-20 minutes is not going to hurt your baby physically or emotionally" (BabyWise, p. 131) and that if your baby "cries longer than fifteen minutes, check on [your] baby"(BabyWise, p.148). The "future trade-off will be a baby who goes down for a nap without fussing and wakes up cooing" (BabyWise, p. 131).
The exact way to sleep train a baby isn't specifically explained in BabyWise but is up to you to decide with the information and guidance it gives you. Although it emphasizes that a little crying will not hurt your baby, it does not give you an exact period of time to to let your child cry with naps or at night like Ferber and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It also doesn't exactly explain how you should reassure your baby if you choose to do so although it does mention that checking on your baby without him seeing you is often a good way to do this but that you might need to do more than this such as physically hold him or pat him. Often how you intervene depends on your baby. Some babies can handle intervention more than others meaning that for some it helps, and for others it seems to make matters worse. Note that your baby crying more right after you intervene does not necessarily mean intervening doesn't work for your child. This is a common reaction and if you child falls asleep soon after then it is no problem, but if this seems to make your child take longer to fall asleep then obviously it is not helping.
However you decide to sleep train using the suggestions in BabyWise make sure you choose a method that you are comfortable with and remember that if you follow the BabyWise eat/activity/sleep routine, keep appropriate waketimes and start as you mean to go you will hopefully avoid most if not all crying and undesired sleep habits.
Excellent summary, Rachel. Good work!
ReplyDelete-Valerie
Our newborn baby is almost 3 weeks old and we have been letting her sleep in her my little lamb swing by our bed at night. We tried the pack and play at first but she seems to sleep much better in the swing. Is this considered a prop and will it make it difficult for her to move to her crib?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
ReplyDeleteI suppose it could be considered to be a sleep prop. She may have a little bit of a problem transfering to a flat surface, but it probably won't be too bad. Most likely she is finding comfort in the swing because it kind of snuggles her body. Do you swaddle? If you do, this will probably help her sleep flat, and it will probably help her when she transfers to a flat surface.
Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. It I had to choose between having her sleep there and sleeping well or sleeping in a pack and play and sleeping badly, I'd choose the swing right now. Sure it might take a little time to transition her, but most likely it won't be too bad. It would probably be a good idea to have her sleep on a flat surface sometimes though (swaddled as I suggested). Some people use sleep positioners that do a similar thing that the swing is doing (keeping her body all snuggled). Most babies seem to transition out of these really well.
My 6 week old is starting to sleep through the night and according to Babywise, you are not supposed to let them sleep over 5 hours without feeding them, correct?! So I was wondering when it is ok to start stretching the 5 hour mark. Last night she slept from 10 to 4 and when I finally decided it had been long enough and tried to feed her... she really had no interest. She wanted to keep sleeping and only at a couple minutes on each side. I don't want to force her to eat, but don't want to do something detrimental to her.
ReplyDeleteAny advice? Or wise words?
Thanks so much!
Indie's mom-
ReplyDeleteMost likely, you are fine to let your daughter sleep longer than 5 hours. There are a few things that you need to monitor. 1)The first is weight. Is she at least 9 lbs? I've heard different things from different people/pediatricians. Some say a 9 lb baby can go 12 hours at night, some say you need to wait until 10 lbs for a baby to go 8 hours. I'd go by what your pediatrician says since he is the one monitoring your baby. 2) How is your baby's weight gain? This needs to be good if you are going to let baby sleep longer. You can monitor this by how much she eats during the day (not always related to weight gain, but probably is), her wet/dirty diapers and by actually weighing her. 3) How is your supply if you are breastfeeding? Some people can go long periods of time early on and be fine in regards to milk supply, others can never go extremely long, even when their baby is 12 months old. With my last child, I was fine going 12 hours until I went to a 4 hours schedule. Then I had to start pumping at night before going to bed to keep up my supply.
So that is my list of things to think about when letting your child sleep longer. That's what comes to mind right now at least :) I would mainly check with your pediatrician if you have concerns. I had a different pediatrician with my son Jacob (now 2 months) than I had with my son Joshua. My first pediatrician said that my son Joshua could sleep up to 5 hours when he was 2 weeks old. My new pediatrician said that my son Jacob could sleep as long as he wanted to at his 2 week appointment and even encouraged me to gently help him go 12 hours between feeds at night when he was only 2 months old. They were both healthy boys and around the same weight. Just different pediatricians.
First off thanks for all your posts. Second off I need advice. My daughter is 12 months old. I have been doing babywise since birth, with some exceptions due to slow weight gain and being 6 weeks early. My daughter was sleeping well up until a couple months ago we traveled, had visitors, etc and she got off track. Since then we have cio but it seems her problems all stem from separation anxiety. She now cio for every nap and cries less than 15 min, but bedtime is a different story. When does this end? She didn't used to cry at all. She also wakes in the night (I stopped night feedings last week) and when we calm her and lay her down she checks every minute or so that we are still there until she is completely out. Second question, lately when my baby cries extra long for nap I check on her and she has pooped, I change her and redo her prenap routine and she screams the whole time cuz she knows she is going to sleep and is now extra tired. I am afraid she will cry the whole nap if I just put her down, do I do it anyway? I need her to nap as much as she does.
ReplyDeleteCelia,
ReplyDeleteKids often go through phases where they will stop crying then start up again (usually just a little). It often has to do with developmental phases. Yours likely has to do with that and traveling. Some kids never cry past three months of age. Some will cry before every nap until they are a couple years old, some on and off until this time. I can't really say when it will end because every child is different. It will end sooner (and very unlikely be more than a few minutes worth) if you are consistent with your methods.
Make sure she has some sort of lovey to sleep with. If she hasn't chosen one, you choose one for her and make she always has it during sleep times. If you give it during a poopie diaper change at nap time, it often helps kids be calmer. I would probably redo the nap routine like you are doing and then get out of there. If she will calm easily by you staying for a little longer (only a little, not too long or you are giving the extra attention she seeks and reinforcing the difficultly with sleeping) then do that. IF not, then do not stay too long or you will make things harder in the long run. Yes, she may get overtired, but she is older now and should be able to handle it better. Plus, as I said, if you stay she will just get worse and do things to make you come more often or stay longer and sleep will worsen.
Make sure the wake time is right for bedtime. Some need a bit longer at this time and don't get it (because parents worry so much about overtiring them) and will cry a bit because of that. Obviously you need to be careful of over tiredness too because it can cause the same problem. Many kids will cry hard at bedtime and not during the day because they can sense the difference and longer separation about to occur here (at least that is my idea about why they do this--they obviously know it is different than a nap and some are not happy about this!).
"She also wakes in the night (I stopped night feedings last week) and when we calm her and lay her down she checks every minute or so that we are still there until she is completely out."
By doing this you have taught her to not sleep without your presence. So if you want things to improve you need to teach her to sleep without your presence. She will protest of course. But she isn't going to suddenly not want you there at this age if you have been there so you have to do some kind of action. How you do this is up to you. You can do straight cio, cio with checks, use some of the baby whisperer techniques etc. I know it is hard when you are on trips to keep things normal. It is good to try to keep them normal, but living situations etc, don't always make that possible. It is important to continue doing things like you previously did when you get home or asap, even if that means you have to redo some sleep training to get there. Many kids will need some redo of sleep training the first year or two of life. Often it isn't too severe, just a little help. But if you let things get out of hand sleep training might end up being a big hard deal all over again.
Good luck!
Rachel
Thank you so much! She is sleeping so much better! We are still working on the pooping during a nap issue. I always give her time to resettle herself during a nap if she wakes early, and sometimes that seems to make things worse. I will try to redo the nap routine and leave her. Thanks for all your helpful tips. Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteCelia,
ReplyDeleteWith resettling, sometimes it makes things worse for baby if you don't leave them there until they become happy. But if you were to do that, you would need to stick with it. Sometimes it goes away over time though and they will start waking happy more often without doing anything.
With my oldest, going in real quick and holding him for a few seconds always did the trick. Often this is no no advice, but if it works it work. Babies are so different.
Glad you found the blog useful!
Rachel
I'm so happy to have found your blog. I have sent a few links to your posts to my sis, who has a new baby at home too. Thank you so much! I love your non judgmental approach.
ReplyDeleteCheyenne,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you like the blog. Hopefully it will help your sister out a bit. I'm glad you find me non judgmental. I try to be, but it can be a bit tough with this subject when no many people have such different opinions. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells sometimes trying to not hurt people's feelings. I guess that is the nature of a blog like that is somewhat general in regards to sleep.
Rachel
My poor baby won't sleep during the day at all. My fiance can get her to take at most 2- 30 minutes naps if she sleeps on him. She has such bags under her eyes and cries so much it breaks my heart. She just turned 4 months and sleeps fine at night.
ReplyDeleteKarl,
ReplyDeleteMy guess is that she is getting in such an overtired cycle that she can't sleep. But it is hard to really know what's going on without seeing the whole pictures. Does she have a good presleep routine? Is there a good sleep environment? Is there any sort daily routine? Likely she can handle 1.5 hours give or take some time for waketime right now before needing a nap. Take a look at the waketime posts and the short nap posts (and the posts imbedded in those--they are a different color text- for some guidance). When is here bedtime? I would make it super early in your situation to help get over some of the overtiredness. But an early bedtime will only do so much at this age, she needs her naps to get through the day. You may need to do some sort of sleep training, yes, even though she sleeps at night. If she will only sleep with a prop during the day she may be resisting sleep to play or for your company etc.
Rachel
Errica
ReplyDeleteI need help transitioning from a nap nanny to laying flat in a crib. My little one has severe reflux & needed a 45 degree elevation. She is finally growing out of the reflux & need her to sleep in her crib. Any suggestions
hi there!, just wondering what you think of dream feeds? im scared im going to stuff up my babies routine.hes almost 12 weeks and wakes every 4 hours at night. thanks :)
ReplyDeletesattie,
ReplyDeleteI have three dream feed posts (one to come next week). Here is one of them...
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2011/12/dreamfeed-all-you-ever-wanted-to-know.html
Errica,
ReplyDeleteThere isn't tons you can do except for transition her straight to her crib. You can stay with her to help her go to sleep and get used to the situation. You can then move father from her or do some form of sleep training at this time. Or you can move her to her crib and do the sleep training right away.
Good luck!
Rachel
Thanks for this blog. Have a question re my newborn/5 week old. He eats at 7 and then sleeps great until his dream feed at 11. He sleeps well until about 3:30 or 4 am and then wakes up. We were able to go in, put his pacifier back and he'd go back down until 6:30 am or soB. Now he is waking nearly every hour from 3:30 onward, crying and needing to be re-pacifierred until its time for his first feeding. He is over 11 lbs and we know he doesn't need to eat (pediatrician confirmed ok to let him sleep). We have and do let him CIO with his binkie in and he is able to resettle - is just up again shortly. Any ideas? We're wondering if we just need to go cold Rukeyser w first wake up and no binkie reapplication. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteJeadelma,
ReplyDeleteAt 5 weeks, if he is getting a feed at 11 and wakes at 3:30 ish and continues to wake, I would consider that he is hungry and wants a feed. Some babies, even when hungry, will go back to sleep but awake relatively soon after still wanting that feed. Even if he is technically "big enough and old enough" to go that long, he may not be able to very easily. Weight and age are only two of the factors involved. He is doing much better with sleep than most babies his age. MUCH better. I know you are still tired, but I want to offer you that encouragement. I would feed and see what happens. If, after a few nights (because he may be in the habit of waking a bit bc of what has been going on recently) he sleep after the feeding, then you have your answer about what has been going on. If he keeps waking every hour, then maybe it is pacifier related. As for that, I would consider waiting it out a bit longer. Once many babies get used to sleeping through a certain time, they often do it without the pacifier being reinserted. If he doesn't, you can consider no binkie reinsertion.
Rachel